by Catherine Pratt
By the time you finish reading this page, you'll have discovered how to achieve confidence quickly and easily and learned how to become truly successful in life. But first, let me share with you a story. I met up with a friend yesterday for coffee and he told me about a trading course in Salt Lake City he’d recently attended. A piece of interesting trivia he learned during the course was that 8% of the attendees would never even take the shrink wrap off their manuals. This is a course where they paid $5,000 for the privilege to be there and a fair number of them would never even open the book. At first this sounds completely crazy. You’ve got to wonder who would spend $5,000 and not even look at the information?
You probably already know this but this sort of thing happens all the time and not just in the educational world. Take a look at the diet industry. It’s a fact that billions of dollars every year are spent on weight loss programs. And which ones are the most popular? The ones that offer the greatest amount of weight loss with the least amount of effort.
We seem to have become a society which is obsessed with finding that instant fix, that magic pill that will solve all our problems or make us a million dollars without doing any work (it's why lotteries are so popular).
Everyone knows these quick fixes don’t really work but since people want instant answers, they still pull out their credit cards and buy into the latest fad only to end up disappointed.
I’ve seen a lot of confidence products lately doing the same thing. Headlines like “Solve any self esteem issue in 3 minutes”. The truth is that it doesn’t happen like that. So, what is the answer? Stop the madness and really absorb the following words because I’m going to reveal to you the one true answer to being successful in whatever you try and I'm going to give it to you for free.
The real secret is to simply take four little steps:
Step 1 - Make a Decision
Decide what you want. This doesn’t even need to be something huge. It could be something as simple as you want to explore a favorite hobby more. The action of making a decision is the key element here. No longer will you simply react to what life provides. You will be making a conscious decision as to the life you want. Figure out what is important to you and then make the decision that this is what you want to do. It doesn’t matter if other people tell you they think you’re making a mistake or that it’s silly. All that matters is that it is something you've decided that you want to do, experience or explore.
Tip: Make a list of the benefits you'll receive when you achieve your goal or write down why you want to succeed at this goal. This will be important when you get to that “slump” phase when the decision loses the thrill of its newness.
Step 2 - Make a Commitment
Once you've made the decision, you need to follow through. For example, if you make a decision to buy a product to help you achieve your goal then you also need to commit to actually use the product. Jumping from one program to the next without even trying the suggestions will get you nowhere. Some people read one self help book after another without taking the time to consider what knowledge they've learned and how to put it into action. If you do this, all you end up being is an expert on self help books but you won’t be a master where it matters the most, your own mind. If you commit to your decision then you may find that you already have the answer, you just haven't put it into place yet. It requires work, practice and repetition to develop the skills and mastery of what you're trying to learn.
Committing to this decision also means scheduling time to work on this goal. Figure out what obstacles might get in the way and have a plan to work around the obstacles.
Step 3 - Take Action
So, you now made a decision and committed yourself to it. Action now needs to be taken. Even if it’s tiny steps, you will need to take that first step and keep taking those steps. You will never reach your goals if you don’t take Action. Sitting on the couch and thinking you need to lose weight will not make you lose weight no matter what product you buy. The same goes for confidence, wishing you had more confidence and not doing anything about it, will not develop more confidence. Dreaming will not get you there. Hope will not get you there. Only action will get you there. Even if it’s just a tiny step every day you will make it. Each action you take adds up to a huge jump in the right direction. Successful people always take action.
The fear of making a mistake or not knowing if it’s the “right decision” will prevent many from taking any forward motion. If you refuse to think of anything as a failure but more as a stepping stone or valuable lesson, each action will bring you closer to your goal.
If you only react to whatever life brings you, you will never achieve your deepest desires. How many times have you heard, “Wait and see what happens”? Successful people take action first. They already made the decision of what they want, they know what they need to do and they do it.
Always move forward. Ask yourself, “What action can I take today?” and then do it.
For more tips on how to stick with your goal, read How To Make New Habits Stick.
Step 4 - Focus
Distractions will try to get your attention. You are bombarded by information and options constantly throughout the day. Whether it’s just life stuff (looking after the kids, going to a job you don’t really like, email, the latest reality show on tv) or even by too many opportunities, distractions are trying to get your attention. Plus, those quick fix schemes will try to distract you with an "easier way". It’s critical to ignore them and focus on your end goal. It’s the absolute shortest distance to achieving your dreams. The more you get distracted, the longer it will take to claim your prize.
When you feel you may be getting distracted or even procrastinating, ask yourself, “Is this taking me in the direction I want to go?”
Don’t let yourself get distracted from your goal. Keep it in the front of your mind and always move towards it.
When Completing the 4 Steps, Remember:
It's a Journey of Self Discovery
If you’ve been thinking a certain negative thought for 20 years (for example, “I’m not good enough”) you are not going to be able to banish that thought forever in 3 minutes. You certainly could be aware of whenever you have that thought and counteract it by thinking something else but, it will take numerous attempts before you no longer have that thought. And there will probably always be times during moments of great stress that you will still have that original negative thought. It’s just a matter of being aware of it and working through it.
There’s no instant cure for whatever ails us. I wish there was. But, then we would miss the incredible self discovery along the way. If you could just take a pill and you would have instant confidence, you would become dependent on that pill and not yourself. What would happen when you didn’t have access to that pill? What if they stopped selling it? You’d feel you couldn’t do anything without your crutch. But, by taking the time to build true confidence in yourself, you'll have confidence in yourself 24 hours a day during any situation no matter what. You'll become dependent upon yourself because you know you can do it all by yourself.
By developing self confidence you'll have learned so much about yourself on the way. You'll have discovered why you have the negative thoughts in the beginning, whether it’s from limiting beliefs or from listening to others in your childhood, you'll have uncovered the truth about why you think what you do. You will also discover the beauty of your soul and what it truly wants to achieve. This is something you couldn’t get if you simply relied on a pill. Life is about self discovery and it can be an amazing journey. Why rip yourself off of an incredible adventure by wasting time looking for the magic pill that doesn’t even exist? Enjoy this journey.
You're Worth It
If you really want to change your life, you’re worth the effort it’s going to take. Slowly move towards your goal and you will make it. If you take a look at anyone who has achieved their goal, it has never been an overnight success. It was a matter of taking it one step at a time. Once you gain it, you keep it – you’re not dependent on someone or something else. Never give up on yourself. You’re worth the effort.
It Happens Faster Than You Realize
It may seem like you’re not making any progress but usually, very quickly you’ll be amazed at how far you’ve come just by moving forwards a little bit more every day. You have to keep moving forwards though and not getting distracted when things don’t seem to be moving fast enough. As Thomas Edison said, "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." (Print this quote)
The next time you get tempted by the latest quick fix product, stop
and remember this article. The only true Quick Solution to Achieving
Confidence, is by taking the following four steps:
1. Make a Decision
2. Make a Commitment
3. Take Action
There you go. That’s all it takes. There is no other way to achieve confidence and success. By knowing these 4 simple steps you can go from living an unfulfilled life to one of unimaginable happiness. Incorporate these four actions into your life, and the world is yours. You will be successful.
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
George Bernard Shaw