If you're someone who knows that you care too much what others think of you, it can be hard to know where to start to solve this issue.
I find sometimes it helps if you can be clear about why you want to change. What do you think will happen if you change things about yourself?
It's important to be realistic with your expectations when you do this exercise. You don't want to believe something like, "If I stop caring what others think of me then I'll be a super badass and everyone will respect me and I'll start making a zillion dollars a year." I'm not saying you won't start earning a lot of money but there's a lot of other factors involved in that. Your life will change when you change your mindset but it doesn't automatically assume everyone else around you will instantly start treating you differently. What will change is how you approach the world and how you respond to those around you and the situations that happen to you. You're far more likely to make that zillion dollars if you're focused on your own goals instead of giving up your dreams to please someone else.
So, let's take a closer look at what can be expected if you start to care less what others think of you.
First, it's important to realize that in certain situations it's valuable to listen to some people’s opinions. There are people who genuinely have information and ideas that could help you achieve your goals. But if you're a people pleaser then you already know that too often you listen to what other random people think just as much if not more than those trusted advisors. It's important to be aware of whose opinion you trust and those you don't.
If you’ve ever heard something like:
then you know people often give advice that they consider the "safe" thing to do. They're not considering what is really the best thing for you, they're trying to keep you safe. That may be fine but you need to consider if it's really the best thing for you. You want to base your decisions on what would make you the happiest, not what is the safest thing to do.
Also, pay attention to why the person is giving the advice they are.
A lot of people make their decisions based upon their fears. That's not how you want to make your decisions. You want to be able to make your decisions based upon what would like to do or have in your life.
So, besides living a life based upon what you truly want instead of living a life of fear, here are 5 other benefits of caring less what others think you should do and deciding to choose for yourself what is right for you:
What’s more stressful than wanting something so badly you can taste it, yet hearing from everyone around that it’s impossible or you'll never be able to do it or you're not good enough for that? That's soul crushing. You're not being true to yourself and it'll slowly eat you alive. Also, the struggle it takes, the energy it takes to desire and yet resist is fierce. By trusting your own instincts and doing it your way, you'll encounter far less stress in your life as well as avoid having to live with that constant unfulfilled longing in your heart. You’ll experience freedom instead.
When you stop letting other people make your decisions for you, you can finally live the life you know you were meant to live. The joy from that will fill up your life in unexpected and magical ways.
You also won't be drained and worn out from doing all sorts of jobs and tasks for other people in an attempt to make them happy. You'll be able to keep focused on your own goals and desires without having to drop everything for everyone else that comes along.
Being true to yourself instead of being what you think others want you to be is such an incredible freedom. There's nothing else quite like it. That's the life you deserve to have.
When you're living your authentic life, one that is in alignment with your personal values, you will experience less fear. Less fear of making a mistake, having regrets, not having what you need. When you live with integrity, life becomes much sweeter, and you have clarity about what you should do next.
Once you are living your purpose instead of what others think you should do, you’ll meet others who share common goals and dreams. You’ll experience serendipity—you’ll start randomly meeting people who will further your path and who will support you on it. After that, it will be much easier to let go of friendships with the doubters in your life.
When you are living our authentic truth, you naturally draw people to you. People pick up on the “vibe” of others who are living their life on their own terms. It’s attractive. So instead of losing out on friendships or connections because you go ahead and do what others have told you is doomed to fail, you’ll increase your connections. They will be more plentiful and deeper than any you’ve ever experienced.
Being clear about why you want to make changes can be very helpful in starting to make those changes in your life. When your motivation sags, you can think back to why you're doing this and summon the strength to keep going along your desired path.
So, what are your next steps now?
Well, first make a list of why you really want to make this change for yourself. Keep your expectations reasonable.
Next, grab a copy of my Stop Being A People Pleaser ebook which will provide you with a valuable tip every day for 10 days on how to care less about what others think of you. You'll learn how to deal with conflict, how to say no to all those never ending requests, and how to achieve a balance between focusing on what's important to you and dealing with the needs of other people.
Click on the image below to learn more about it.