Why You Always Remember the Negative
by Catherine Pratt
Do you find that you always remember the negative events in your life and not the positive ones? How about when you have a meeting or conversation with someone and lots of nice things are said about you or your work, but all you remember is that one comment that wasn’t positive. It’s that one statement that you can’t get over and it becomes
the only thing you can remember about the entire meeting. Also, you think everyone now believes that one point about you. It ruins your entire day.
If you find that this describes you then this may be a sign that you have some internal discovery to do. What I mean by that is that you need to figure out why you're stuck in a negative thinking groove. Once you know that then you can work to change it.
You can start your research with the following three questions:
• Ask Yourself the hard question of “Why?”
You may be surprised at what comes up. It may be an event that happened years and years ago that you still haven’t moved on from. Also,
- Do you really just want someone to say, “I’m sorry” or “you were right, I was wrong” so that you can have closure on it?
- Are you beating yourself up over past actions?
Really ask yourself what it is about the event that you just can’t let go. For more tips on how to stop the negative thoughts, check out 5 Tips to Stop the Negative Inner Voice in our Heads.
• Is it a self esteem issue and you feel like you don’t deserve to have anything good happen to you?
If it is then it’s an awesome sign that you need to start working on awareness of what you’re thinking and telling yourself over and over in your head.
• Are you angry at something?
I find that when I realize I’m just seeing the negative in everything then I know it’s a sure sign that there’s something I haven’t dealt with. I’m angry about something and I need to figure it out. What are you angry about? What haven’t you dealt with?
How Not To Always Remember the Negative
• If there’s an issue you’re avoiding, then deal with it.
Work through the emotions and figure out why you’re feeling the emotions you are. This is absolutely the best way.
• Have a phrase you say whenever you catch yourself thinking along those lines
I used to say, “Peace be with you” or "cancel, cancel, cancel" whenever I would find myself replaying the same scene over and over in my head. After awhile, you get sick of saying your phrase over and over and I think in a way this stops you thinking it as well. It’s also good for making you realize how stuck your brain is in thinking the same thoughts again and again.
• Re-Program Your Thinking
There's some really good products out there that you can use to help you to re-program your current negative thoughts into positive ones. One I'm trying right now is an an mp3 called “I Love You” by Pat O’Bryan and Joe Vitale. There's also "I'm a High Achiever" by Sunny Hills.
• What are you surrounding yourself with?
Negative people, news, terror movies? What you see and hear all day will affect your thinking. It's hard not to always remember the negative when that's all you're being exposed to day after day. You could try watching some inspirational movies, or reading positive thinking books or inspirational autobiographies.
• Awareness is the first step
Only once you realize you’ve gotten yourself into a negative thinking rut, you can then take action to change it. Awareness is sometimes the hardest step so if you're already realizing that you do always remember the negative and not the positive then congratulations for you are well on your way to leaving these limiting thought patterns behind you.
If you find that you always remember the negative and not the positive, use it as a sign that you have some internal work to do. You'll probably be amazed at what you learn about yourself. And once you understand yourself better, you'll be able to move forwards in your life whereas previously you probably were always going around and around in the same circle. Raise your awareness about what you're thinking and you'll be well on your way to a new, more positive you.
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