What am I doing wrong?

by Ed

I just want to know what i've been doing wrong or if something is preventing me from being in a relationship.

I haven't dated in three years or so. I am very easy going and am told I have a great personality. I am always considered "the guy who could only be a friend" the "best friend" type and so on. I just can't get my mind wrapped around what I am doing wrong that makes women think that I couldn't be anything more than a friend. So what should I do differently or what should I keep doing?


Comments for What am I doing wrong?

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May 28, 2014
Its not you
by: Anonymous

I don't think its you. I am a widow of 3 years, was married for 32 years. Decided to starting dating, and wow that was a mistake. Joined 2 dating sites, 99% of the men, will start a conversation for a couple of days and then just disappear. Have no idea why that starting talking in the first place. So do don't put the blame on yourself, I am finding out people just don't care how they make others feel. I sure do hope you find somebody good, as I do for me. I had the best but he had to go away. I am very lonely, and don't seeing anything changing in the near future.

Nov 13, 2008
by: Catherine, www.Life-With-Confidence.com

Hi Ed,

It's going to be a little tricky figuring this out without knowing more details but maybe I'll just throw out a few ideas and see if anything strikes a chord with you.

First, what kind of women do you find yourself attracted to? I'm wondering if you're attracted to the type of woman who isn't interested in serious relationships right now or a woman who's looking for something very specific. For example, say you're attracted to really career driven and ambitious women. If you don't look like someone who would be able to help them with their career or maybe even as someone who would get in the way of their career (as someone who wants to settle down), they would only consider you friendship material.

What kind of things do you talk about on your dates? If you're talking about things they can't relate to then they're not going to be looking for a long term future with you. Maybe you love sports and talk about your favorite teams with them and the women you're attracted to don't know a thing about sports and don't want to. They would think of you as a friend but nothing more. Or maybe you talk about your job which is quite technical and they know nothing about that and don't really want to learn about that. They would be looking for a connection with you and those types of things would repel that. You'd be talking to the wrong type of woman.

How about, what do you wear on your first dates? If you dress extremely casual, that would also turn off a lot of women. They would want you to look nice for them and make some kind of an effort for them.

Because this has happened to you a few times, do you go into relationships with that thought at the back of your mind, "Oh, she's not going to be interested in me for more than friends." If you do, that thought will come across in your body language.

So, those are few things I thought of. Do any of them trigger anything for you? If not, I can think of some more things for you.


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