totally negative....

I am in a super negative frame of mind lately. I am in a long term relationship and it has been a complete roller coaster for the past 11 years. At least once or twice a month i think of life without him.. We have not to much in common: on a day off he would like to sit in the house and relax as much as possible. I would rather get out take the kids and the dog for a long walk, clean up do laundry and so on. He can't understand why we have to go out to do everything? and why on family day did we need to take kids to science center. He is only interested in computers and computer games and a few other things like taking apart his jeep. None of this interest me. I cant tell him my true feelings cause he throws it back in my face and says its all me and that i am over reacting. For years I have been trying to get him to initiate a camping trip, or ski trip or walk into town or short vacation or anything. I feel as if i have become his mother.. I am so angry and so unhappy at myself i suppose because i want these things in my life and he is not at all like this and frankly never really has been. I am mainly upset that we have our 2 beautiful children and now i want to go and tear it all apart. But i am miserable and unhappy. I have a vision of what i would like for my life but i don't think that it will ever happen with him. I am tired and I am really exhausted. I went back to school for a year landed a great career and i should be happy about that but i am not... I am to negative and i need some direction on how to get out of this negative mind set... I am completely lost... any advice would be really appreciated...thanks