Smile "Good Karma" is here!
by Samantha Jackson
(Edmonton, Alberta, Canada)
I have always been a people pleaser. Now that I have reached a ripe age of 21 soon to be 22. I have decided to take things in my hands on how to deal with immature, irresponsible,and negative young adults and adults themselves.
Just when you hear of something negative I smile on the inside. I tend to attract negative people whom want advice or someone to talk to. I listen, give them what I think and move on. If it deals with the workplace or at home ignoring it is the best thing you can do and just simply focus on yourself. There is absolutely no need for people to be negative. Think of world peace, self sacrifice, and positive outlook. If you seem to stumble and not be able to pick yourself up, think of someone out there who is less fortunate and eager to move on.
You will always succeed with the help of being independent, knowing when to ask for help, and having an open mind to being who YOU are and what you're NOT.
Have a good Day and thank you for reading!
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
February 11, 2008Posted By:
We're neighbours as I'm down in Calgary. : - )
Anyway, thank you for your comments. I think I'm going to have to disagree with you slightly.
As a human being, I'm not sure it's possible to NEVER have a negative moment. Everyone has bad days and when it happens, it's nice to know your family and friends are going to be there to support you and to help you through. I think it would be worse if you knew you were going to be totally ignored just because you were having a bad day.
Being "negative" isn't always a bad thing either. It's how you react to it that's important. As soon as you realize you're feeling angry or sad or just negative, you know you're focusing on what you don't want. This then allows you to turn it around to figure out what it is that you do want so that you can move forwards. You needed the negative moment to realize your focus had got distracted on to the wrong thing.
Also, you can help negative people through their situations. Or you can figure out what's really happening behind the negativity and come up with some solutions to the problem. I talk about all this in my book, "65 Positive Ways To Deal With Negative People"
so I won't go into it all here but I think there are much better ways to deal with a negative person rather than just ignoring them.
It sort of sounds like negative people make you angry. That might be something for you to look into deeper. Why do you react that way? But, also, if you react with anger and decide to ignore anyone who happens to have a negative moment, I think you may find that a lot of people don't want to be around you or that your relationships will always be on the superficial side.
Your comment about being a people pleaser is very different than just how to deal with the negative people you come across in your life. That has much more to do with how you view yourself and your own self worth.
Anyway, I think you've started a great topic for conversation.
February 11, 2008Posted By:
Dealing with the chronic vs being insensitive
I agree with Catherine, but I also have two additional thoughts to add. One is it sounds like you're talking about the chronically negative. I know the type--if they aren't complaining about something, they're not happy. Their life is one big "feel sorry for me" party, and they want an audience. Your technique is perfect for that type of person. It takes a little bit (a few repetitive incidents) to realize you're dealing with a chronic whiner, so guard against dismissing someone who really is sincere and needs your help, if not just a shoulder for that special time.
The other thing is I had a mother who treated negativity with dismissiveness and jokes. If I came to her with a problem, she immediately teased me with something like the sky was black over my head, and I was a cartoon character who lived under it on purpose. She still does that to this day (not to me, since I learned long ago not to go to her), and thank God I had a couple of loving aunts to whom I could go when I needed help. I think otherwise I would have grown up very damaged, heartless at best, and cruel at worst. So I'm grateful my aunts were there for me during my childhood, as my good friends are today.
Sometimes people are negative because nobody has acknowledged their pain or their problem and then helped them see how they could feel better. Your method works in the case of the habitual negatives who suck energy for kicks, but it isn't something I hope you use in all cases.
Best wishes to you :)