should l still stand by him ..

by denise
(uk scotland)

My boyfriend is a 56 year old man who is verbally abusive and angry all the time. He had a car accident 5 years ago, and although he wasn't badly injured, lost his job and basically is in mourning for his old life. He is physically strong as an ox, but mentally, he suffered from PTSD. I'm depressed by it all now. l support him emotionally and financially, but intimacy is not present now, as he says he only feels anger. It's so boring and unhappy now. Anyone, can you help ??

Comments for should l still stand by him ..

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Aug 10, 2012
 Agree what was written
by: Anonymous

I certainly agree with what was written. You have to help yourself before you can help anyone else.He probably won't listen to you, he needs out side help.
Aug 09, 2012
 Seek a professional.
by: Anonymous

Anytime you begin to suffer due to someone else's pains its time to start a deep evaluation of the situation. I would probably begin with communication about your feelings with him, clearing stating the issues, and that he must begin helping himself either with or without you. You must be firm in your stance, but kind with your words. If there is a way to better the situation with your partner I would recommend this first, but it must be a mutual agreement and effort. Therapists understand these types of situations and can work through couples issues, especially when there is a psychological ailment involved. If he is unwilling to change or not agreeable to working on improving the relationship, then you might benefit from taking a sabbatical. Relationships are only kept alive if both parties agree to grow in them together. On the other hand, if he is physically hurting you or mentally harming you to the degree that it is unhealthy for you, then I can only suggest removing yourself from the situation and find a place where you can heal. If he cares enough about your well being he will understand that you have to leave and it may be worth explaining what you are doing. If you think he would at all become violent towards you, leave immediately and do not let him know where you are going. I am not a professional and I do not know enough about your situation- I would suggest, if the case calls for it, leave and seek the advice of a professional.

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