How to Overcome Your Insecurities

The Different Types of Insecurities and How to Overcome Them

If you’re dealing with insecurities, know that you’re not the only one.

We all have insecurities.

Some are minor and some are so severe that they limit us by affecting our mental health and preventing personal growth. If you’re experiencing overwhelming insecurities, let's give you some tips on how to overcome your insecurities so you can lead a more fulfilling life. You can do this.

The Meaning of Insecurity

Let's start our discussion by first looking at what we mean when we talk about insecurities.

So what’s the meaning of insecurity?

It’s the fear of something such as change, being inadequate, rejection, or failure.

Knowing what it is will help you to recognize when it happens and also gain awareness about how and when it occurs in your life. Having this awareness means that you will then be able to respond to it by choosing your reaction rather than reacting on automatic pilot.

An Insecurity Example

A few weeks ago, one of our mutual friends invited us to dinner to meet the partner she’d met on one of the best dating sites. What started as a friendly evening turned into a somber experience when she began speaking about something that had put her down for a year: her insecurities.

Our friend, let’s call her Macy, explained how for years, she experienced a sense of dread when called upon to lead the pack for a work project because she had a bad case of imposter syndrome and would always feel inadequate as a leader.

Of course, she would always look calm on the outside but deep inside, her anxiety would be off the charts, and her nerves would be all over the place. Well, she did finally get over her insecurities, and she’s the confident woman she was years before.

The good news is, it’s possible to overcome and embrace your insecurities. Everyone has insecurities but, it takes work to overcome them. If you’d like some tips on how to get over insecurities that have been bringing you down, read on.

There are different causes of insecurities. The one thing they have in common is that they can negatively impact different areas of our lives, such as our professional capacity, romantic relationships, friendships, and even our sense of self.

Our insecurities usually have a stronghold over our mental health, general growth, and life progress.

So, let's take a look at the four main types of insecurities.

Types of Insecurities

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1.     Economic Insecurity

Economic insecurities mostly appear as a result of our financial situations and our careers. One may develop economic insecurities due to stagnating or not growing in their career or losing a job. It can be heightened by comparing our lives to those of our friends, families, or peers. 

This type of insecurity is made worse by attempting to keep up with the Joneses.

2.     Professional Insecurity

Like economic insecurity, professional insecurity can appear as a result of one’s career. This type of insecurity comes from not being confident about your abilities and seeing yourself negatively compared to those who have taken the same path as you and prospered in the process.

Photo by Victoria Heath on Unsplash

Professional insecurity can negatively impact our growth as can result in negative self-talk that prevents us from trying new things or from taking on more challenging work that could be beneficial to us. Our success can be negatively impacted by professional insecurities’ ability to stop us from working on our endeavors, goals, and dreams.

3.     Personal Insecurity

One of the most common insecurities rooted deep inside us is personal insecurities. These insecurities are a result of disapproval of something about us. It could be a blemish on your face, a physical trait you don’t find appealing, or your weight. 

Concentrating too much on these insecurities can increase our self-esteem issues, cause low self-confidence and depression, and heighten anxiety. We must learn how to fix insecurities before they prevent us from living happy, healthy lives. 

 Some personal insecurities may include mental or physical disabilities that aren’t considered “normal” by other people.

 People may judge our impairments because they don’t suffer from them or don’t understand them. This increases our insecurities even more.

4.     Relationship Insecurity

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Relationship insecurities may result in a lack of trust, jealousy, and the fear of being abandoned by those we love. This type of insecurities can harm friendships we’ve tried to maintain for the longest time because of how we behave towards the people around us.

Relationship insecurities and trust issues could result from experiences that we’ve had in the past, such as bad break-ups, traumatic situations, divorce, and abandonment.

How to Overcome Your Insecurities 

As adults, we could be projecting insecurities that our parents expressed towards themselves during our formative years. Imagine a child that always experiences being yelled at by their parents on one thing or the other. Or hearing their parents exclaim how they looked terrible because they are fat. 

Such insecurities can be passed onto and influence a child even without being voiced. When a parent is absent from their child, the child can display insecurities later on in life by believing that they’ve done something to offend their parent or that there’s something wrong with them.

Many of the insecurities we face as adults come from the attachment styles that our parents exposed us to as children. As we mentioned earlier, dealing with your insecurities effectively will take a strong will and determination from you.

 However, as soon as you learn how to deal with trust issues and insecurities psychology, you’ll be well on your way to living a healthier and happier life.

1.     Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step to overcome your insecurities is to acknowledge the feelings you have rather than attempting to ignore them. Allowing yourself to fully feel your emotions will work for you much better than trying to bury them. For more information on how to allow yourself to feel your emotions, try out the Weekes Method.

Sometimes, we may be ignorant or feel ashamed due to our insecurities and, as a result, downplay what we’re feeling. It’s essential to examine our feelings and determine what causes insecurities. Ask yourself what is causing each of the emotions you’re experiencing and figure out what the root problem is. 

Are you feeling inadequate due to a comment someone made in passing? Is there something that you’re frightened of? Have you set unrealistic expectations of yourself that are causing insecurities? Once you start feeling like an imposter or inadequate, ask yourself why you’re feeling that way and whether your feelings are insecurities that are projected to you by someone else. 

By adequately examining your feelings, you can find the cause of the problem you’re having and the right solution to help you fix it. While acknowledging your feelings, also remember to consider the things you know you’re doing right. 

Most times, you’re concentrating on your inadequacies and insecurities and not putting an actual value on the positive things you’re doing every day. Please focus on the contributions you make every day rather than dwelling on your shortcomings and how they make you feel.

Whatever you accomplish during the day, take a moment to congratulate yourself instead of focusing on what's left to be done. Celebrate your wins. Celebrating your win could be as simple as saying, "Yay Me!" in your head. You could also try keeping a list of things you've completed as you go through your day. So, instead of a "to do" list, you have a "finished" list. You might be surprised at how much you are achieving during the day which you previously didn't acknowledge.

2.     Be Objective And View Your Insecurities From Outside The Box

To start working on insecurities you’re experiencing, you have to be objective. Consider looking at your experiences with insecurities from the perspective of someone looking into the box rather than from inside it. This means considering your insecurities from the perspective of an outsider. 

Doing this will offer you a chance to see that your insecurities aren’t as significant as you imagine. Once you have figured out the foundation block of your problem from the first step, you can evaluate how you contribute to your insecurities and how you can come up with strategies to change your reality. 

We rarely see beyond our noses, and when we’re faced with insecurities, we tend to blame our issues on outside influences. While this allows us to think that we aren’t at fault for our feelings, we deny ourselves the chance to see that our insecurities could be a result of us giving them more power over our minds. 

This causes us to feel powerless over our decisions and emotions while, in truth, we could be the ones at fault. For instance, if you feel inadequate in your relationship because your wife keeps faulting you for coming home late, could it be that you aren’t being accountable and need to spend more time at home?

If you feel like an imposter at your workplace or in an official position that you hold, could it be that you need to learn a skill to help you bridge a gap? Once you start becoming more objective with your observations about your insecurities, you’ll be able to evaluate areas in your life where you can make improvements.

Remember, not every situation is your fault. There may be someone in your life that’s out to put you down and destroy your confidence.  However, you should always be aware that you have the strength over your emotions. Most times, if you choose to do or ignore something or do it a little differently, your circumstances will not change your emotions.

3.     Stop Encouraging Negative Thoughts

Most times, our insecurities heighten when we beat ourselves up for not achieving a goal or stumbling along the way. However, putting yourself down because of something you didn’t achieve will only keep you in a vicious cycle of negative emotions and self-hate. 

Dealing with your insecurities head-on will require you to actively lock-out negative emotions as they creep into your head. Even if you fail at something, pick yourself up and remember that failing once doesn’t define who you are. Write down the negative feelings you have and take account of the lessons you’ve learned through your experience. 

This allows you to evaluate where you might have gone wrong and re-strategize for the future. Always remember that everyone has insecurities, and they’re too busy fighting battles of their own. The only way they might find out about yours is if you broadcast them to anyone who cares to listen.

Do your shortcomings even exist if other people don’t see your inadequacies and insecurities? Don’t undermine yourself by mentioning them to all and letting them sundry. Other people may not even take notice of your insecurities.

4.     Spend Time With Those Who Love And Support You

If your dating insecurities come from a negative experience, you will need to surround yourself with supportive and loving people. This will help you rebuild your confidence and offer you the chance to feel understood and accepted for the person you are.

If you have close friends and family, try to work on your insecurities by setting updates with your loved ones. You will see yourself through their eyes since they care about your uniqueness.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

5.     Just Be Yourself

None of us is perfect in knowledge, intelligence, or physical attributes. While dealing with your insecurities, you will realize that no one expects you to be a perfect human. All of us are slaves to our fears and self-doubt and carry burdens in our hearts. 

You can do the only thing possible: to be a better version of yourself than you were the previous day. Besides, have you considered that other people have much more insecurities than you do? Human beings are constantly evolving, and things don’t stay the same way for a long time.  

So if you feel like beating yourself up because you didn’t meet your impossibly high standards, remember that many others probably couldn't do what you've achieved.

Be happy with yourself and your achievements, no matter how minimal they may seem. This will allow you to get used to being satisfied with what you do and maintain your mental health. Don’t let feelings of inadequacy and insecurity shroud your mind and overwhelm you. They’ll rob you of your self-confidence and the inner-peace you deserve.

Final Thoughts on How To Overcome Your Insecurities

We all manifest insecurities about different things at some point in our lives. However, how we deal with these thoughts will determine how we grow, our relationships with others and ourselves, and their effect on our mental health. 

When you feel thoughts of insecurity and self-doubt starting to overcome you, all you need to do is remember the tips we’ve discussed above and remember to surround yourself with positivity, love, and people that appreciate you. Try as much as you can to stay away from situations and people that continually point out your flows and have nothing good to say about you. 

Try to always think about the good things you’ve achieved, no matter how small they may seem. Celebrating your achievements and ignoring the bad feelings will help you eliminate your insecurities and build your self-esteem. 

Have your insecurities prevented you from living a full life before? How did you overcome them? Your comments will be appreciated by us and be helpful to our readers.

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