My Mother Told Me My Whole Life Has Been A Lie

by Shannon
(Fort Worth Texas)

I am 52, and my mother is 62. Who I thought was my father died suddenly 8 years ago. My mother was living with me when she turned 60. We woke up and I said Happy 60th Birthday...all she said was Your Whole Life Has Been A LIE!!! You see when I was 17..I needed my birth certificate to get my college information together. There was a lady the family knew worked at the courthouse and I asked her where to go and she told me don't go...and that I didn't need to ask questions. I began thinking about it and for some reason I asked my mom why would that lady say that...All my mother would say is she didn't know..My mother and Dad would not say the reasoning why I could not know their wedding anniversary. All through the years I have asked different questions and hints to her about my suspicions. I found out that my mother was pregnant when she had me. On the day of my mother's 60th Birthday she told me that she did treat me different than my brother that was 12 years younger and that who I thought was my dad wasn't. She told me who my biological father was and told me not to contact him because he is the type of person that likes to keep things quiet. I did contact him via social media. He said he saw me when I was 2 and wondered if I was his. We have not talked on the phone nor have not met. He has a wife and 4 adult children. I still hear my mother's voice saying he likes to keep things quiet. I really want to have a relationship other than random emails or social media. I am just afraid to ask him....Now when anyone says Happy Birthday..I hear in my head...Your whole life has been a lie....I want him and my half brothers and sisters to know me and my family. I told my children...and now my youngest is asking me whether they will ever meet him...What do I do? What if he doesn't rejects? I want to hear his voice before he gets too old. He is 72