My kid's attention

Hi,
I have a 18 month toddler who spends a lot time with his father because I am the one who is working. I realize that my son does not pay me enough attention when I get home after work. Even though I try to understand the fact that he and my husband are always together and describe the situation as normal. Despite my effort, it is still the same and I feel a little bit hurt when I want to play with him and he ignores me if his father is home.

What should I do to have a better relationship with him before it's too late?

Thank you,

Comments for My kid's attention

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Nov 10, 2008
 Consistent Parenting Advice
by: Helen

Hi there,
Have you ever noticed how toddlers attach themselves to their "person"? If they are at pre-school their 'person' is the teacher - when at home it's the one who is there the most at the time. When I am with my grandson, I give him lots of attention and so he quickly makes me his 'person' rather than his mother.
This is what your son is doing and it is a normal part of his development. It doesn't mean that he loves you any less - he is attaching to the one who is there the most at present. This is expected behavior for his age and stage.

As he grows, he will be able to spread himself around more between you both. For now, I would concentrate on loving him just where he is at. Isn't it wonderful that little ones have this inbuilt safety mechanism. You will be surprised at how quickly this will change.

If you feel worried about the depth of 'your' bond with him, try spending a day alone together once in a while. As soon as he has you to himself, you will become his 'person' and then you will see that his love for you is unaltered.
All the best.

Helen
Consistent Parenting Advice
Oct 11, 2008
 honesty
by: centerline

you need to give quantity time, not quality. It is not about you or the moment, it is about you guys and the moments.
Oct 06, 2008
 toddlers
by: Charis-Jo

It's normal for you to feel this way since the child has built a closer relationship with the father. What you can do is to come out with activities that involve both parents as a start rather than trying to get his attention from his father. He will soon get used to playing with you and eventually will enjoy your company.

He's not deliberately ignoring you. Most of the time, a child will see each parent with a different role and will look for them when the situation arises. For example, if he sees the father as a play mate, he will look for the father whenever he wants to play. On the other hand, when he is hurt and needs comfort, he will look for the mother. Don't worry too much and just enjoy your child.

best regards,
Charis-Jo
All about Parenting Toddlers
www.parentingtoddlers.com

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