by G Debolt
When I was 8 going on 9, I caught my mother having sex several times with my friends 16 year old brother. My step dad was overseas in the Navy. The whole neighborhood knew and so did the kids at school. When she came up pregnant she did some fancy talking about my brother being born 3 months late??? His parents knew and my friend wasn't allowed to play with me anymore, neither were the other kids on the street. Mom didn't care, she just told me this guy was taking care of us and to keep it quiet. We moved very quickly afterward. She kept magazines and books of kiddie porn, more reading than images but always young boys. I caught her several more times throughout the years with boys from school but she didn't get pregnant. Needless to say it had and has caused me a lot of problems. I haven't any relationship with my mother, step dad or brother or old friends from school. The last I spoke to my brother he didn't want to be associated with someone like me and my mother threatened to shoot me if I ever came around. Typical of my mother she has told some real whoppers to cover her butt and of course those whoppers are about me. The whole family thinks im a bad guy and wont talk to me and frankly I don't know what shes told them but I know its to cover herself at my expense.
Well, it haunts me not telling my brother the truth and heres why I don't tell him. I don't want my motivation to be vengeance or payback or anything like that. I feel that if I do tell him I am somehow lowering myself, but if I don't tell him he may never know.
My stepfather was the physically brutal one while my mother was the emotionally brutal one. I got hit everyday and had to stay out of step-dads sight or get whacked again. He truly hated me and told me so often. I moved out when I was 17 and joined the Navy, I haven't been back.
I don't think its fair that I have to forfeit my brotherhood for a brute thats not his father to protect a mother that just isn't worth protecting. I keep telling myself ill tell him when shes dead but that may be to late.
I wake up at night really super angry about it.
It haunts me this, I really don't know what to do. Come out of the woodwork and oh by the way bro, you'd better get a DNA test?
I just don't know. Ive tried to plain just not care, but I do. Not just for my brother but for me and my real dad that my mother through her manipulation made sure I never had a relationship with. She had rode rough shod through so many lives and destroyed them with lies including her own children. In my heart I feel like she is just sick but she had done what shes done.
Should a son stand in judgment of his mother? Should a mother put her son in a position to stand in judgment over her?
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