Lost

by Paula
(Stoney, Creek, ON. Canada)

I am a 46 year old women who just found out two days ago that my wonderful, sweet, kind hearted daddy who is 79 and dealing with dementia is not my biological father. My mother had had an affair 47 years ago and my parents split up for a few years. But my dad came back and I had a great life. He is my hero. Anyway I knew of the affair over the years it was talked about but nothing was ever said that my dad was someone different. The kicker is that it turns out that everyone knew in both family's and Noone said anything. For 7 years it turns out that I lived right across the street from my biological father and my 2 half sister. I am so so lost and upset add confused. One of my step sisters from my bio father has already past away at an early age from alcohol. I will never now her or why she drank the way she did. She was smart and beautiful and now I am guessing very sad. The sisters that are in my life and who are the ones I grew up with love me whole heartedly we are all best friends. But there is still a sister I need to find and a father I must meet. This is so overwhelming. I have a huge family on my daddy side and we are all so very close. It is hard to comprehend that they are not my blood and there is a blood family out there that I don't even know. So the question is what the heck do I do. Or maybe it should first be is how to breath again. Because really I feel like some has punched the air right out of me and all that is left is pain. No hate at this point, just so so much pain.