I've found the answer...

by Adore
(US)

My goodness, I am a christian and I have been dealing with a blamer for six years on and off, she also is a christian leader, I have seen the same traits and have had to write to this person on numerous occassions, pointing out specifically what she did to me was totally wrong and it should not be done by anyone let alone someone who occupies her ministerial role. However this is a long story, to cut it short...we fell out for about the seventh time and never corresponded for over a year which was unusual as I was the one who always did the calling, only when she wanted my services would she ring which led me to believe that she is a user and an abuser. So I prayed to God for a reconcilliation, lo and behold he answered my prayers and I went to this person's house unexpectedly through circumstances beyond my control after the year and some months of not corresponding. There after we re-familiarising ourselves again. The conversation arose about the letters and of course the blame game began, I had already made my feelings clear about the facts in the letters as well of this person's obnoxious behaviour and all they did was focus on the wrongs I had done, which was pointing these things out, although I must admit she caused me to lose my cool and I said somethings in anger which was wrong of me so I apologised. Whilst at her house funny enough, she was complaining and blaming someone who used to live with her and sheeither mentioned or called them a narcissist, I don't want to lie on her but I can't quite recall in which context she used it. I think she asked me what it meant, nevertheless that is unbeleivable. That is another thing they tend to do, call people exactly what they are, example liar, that is the number one trait, she did it for no reason many a times and I pointed out in the letter to her and she never brought it up once. How about that? Anyway after almost a year the relationship continued and when I thought things were going good she started again, the last time I rang she reminded me of my so called wrong doing and again, which she did constantly when I would ring just to see how she was doing, I confronted her two months ago using the Bible, stating that God does not remind me of my past sins, so why do you? I asked, her reply was not good. I feel sorry for her, it is a debilitating problem likened unto a disease that needs a miracle cure. I have stopped ringing this person and they never rang me once since then to see if I was ok since they did not hear from me. But no surprise there. I'm done I told myself, I recognise who she is and what she is about, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and I really thought she had changed, it seems she has gotten worse. I seriously doubt if prayer can help her, only when she sees herself as she is. Only then will she be able to confess and be willing to change. It is a very grave/sad...I repeat sad state to be in. I only discovered this site a few days ago, and I am gobsmacked that there is an official title for these kind of people. One in a hundred is much too much of them on this earth and they will always find their victims, always, that is the terrible thing and when they profess christianity it is even a worse case, because they have the audacity to bring the Creator of the Universe/God in their dirty works and try to justify it, especially when they are in authority.
I must add that the findings showed they are usually intelligent, but in my case it was vice versa, she would mention endlessly how I was intelligent until I figured that she was intimidated by my intelligence and many other factors in my life, and it made her mad. Basically she is not intelligent, she often said herself how she never finished school and how people say she is dunce and uneducated.he would make up for that by announcing how big and beautiful a house she lives among other thing. May God have mercy on her and many others like her. I wonder what would happen if she meets her match, a Blamer and narcissist like herself. Perhaps one would have to callfor calvary!!!