I feel im destined for misery regardless of what i do.

by linda

I grew up in a beautiful family with good parents and 5 other brothers and sisters. My father passed away when i was 16 yrs old (im now 29 female) and then my eldest brother was killed in a car accident 1 year later.

Once my brother was gone was when all the troubles started for me. I ran away from home with a man of whom i wasn't in love, i lived with him for approx 2years. He had a drug problem which i was unaware about and was also aggressive, voilent and wouldnt let me out of the house. 6 months into our relationship i joined i on the drug taking. (marajuana)

When i finally left him and returned home i didnt make my family aware of my substance abuse but got off it fine. I ended up joining a college and finishing a degree. After this i got a job with a company and within the first year moved to management. I met a beautiful man which whom i fell in love with and after 5 years together got married. I fell pregnant 3 times in the first year but aborted them all as he wasnt ready to have children. On my third prgnancy, we broke up.
After this i eneded up back on maraguana and struggled pretty bad with it for almost 2years. I realsed my problem and when into a rehab facility. Did really well but approx 1yr later i ended there again because of another failed realtionship whch drove me to use again. I was pretty adamant that i was going to beat my addiction. after being released from rehab i knew i had to make changes i my life, so i moved out of home, got my self a beautiful house next to work, bought a lovely kitten and then returned to work. My life was perfect.

When i returned there was another employee of whom started to cause some troubles at work and was terminated. he then wrote a demative letter to head office about me and i was demoted from my position. I have now returned to marajauan again. I feel like no matter what i do, it will end badly. No matter what i touch, its going to hurt me and it doesnt matter whether i try or not, misery is the end result. What do i do!! im so sick of everything, i cant live like this. I just want one year of peace. Can this possibly be that im a negative person and im attracting all this to me??? i need help!

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Apr 29, 2020
I am in the same fucking boat
by: Ron

All my troubles started with pot. It is a horrible depressant and i believe it messed with my "luck". We must somehow prevail! I am working on myself daily. Self motivation is the key. I have improved, I do have many days in a row of positivity and some bits of success, but then black days come. But, it used to be all black....
So, I do see improvements. I take no drugs of any kind, I stay the hell away from shrinks, and all kinds of groups. I am G-d fearing, but will not blame my misdeeds on him, nor will I expect him to fix me. So, other than asking for strength and luck, I put the rest of the burden on myself.
I suggest you do to. Make a choice to live, then make another - HOW TO LIVE! Choose to be happy, have healthy expectations as to your abilities and then you will not fail. Boom, here comes happiness!
I must be honest, I still put on a hugely large expectations upon myself, but challenge keeps me going. Be well.

Jul 14, 2011
by: Danilo

I understand how you feel after going through all of that.

You must understand how God created to be. You are a spirit living in a body who possesses a soul (emotions, will). We are what we think. In order for you to change your life you must get rid of any negative thinking you have about yourself and life in general. The way you think have brought you to where you are in life. Your thinking is affected by the people you associate with and the words you listen to the most.

I suggest you read a book called "Psyco cybernetics". It will show you how to change your life for the better.

I hope this help. and understand that change is never ending and it is a gradual process so be patient.

God bless you.

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