I feel im destined for misery regardless of what i do.
I grew up in a beautiful family with good parents and 5 other brothers and sisters. My father passed away when i was 16 yrs old (im now 29 female) and then my eldest brother was killed in a car accident 1 year later.
Once my brother was gone was when all the troubles started for me. I ran away from home with a man of whom i wasn't in love, i lived with him for approx 2years. He had a drug problem which i was unaware about and was also aggressive, voilent and wouldnt let me out of the house. 6 months into our relationship i joined i on the drug taking. (marajuana)
When i finally left him and returned home i didnt make my family aware of my substance abuse but got off it fine. I ended up joining a college and finishing a degree. After this i got a job with a company and within the first year moved to management. I met a beautiful man which whom i fell in love with and after 5 years together got married. I fell pregnant 3 times in the first year but aborted them all as he wasnt ready to have children. On my third prgnancy, we broke up.
After this i eneded up back on maraguana and struggled pretty bad with it for almost 2years. I realsed my problem and when into a rehab facility. Did really well but approx 1yr later i ended there again because of another failed realtionship whch drove me to use again. I was pretty adamant that i was going to beat my addiction. after being released from rehab i knew i had to make changes i my life, so i moved out of home, got my self a beautiful house next to work, bought a lovely kitten and then returned to work. My life was perfect.
When i returned there was another employee of whom started to cause some troubles at work and was terminated. he then wrote a demative letter to head office about me and i was demoted from my position. I have now returned to marajauan again. I feel like no matter what i do, it will end badly. No matter what i touch, its going to hurt me and it doesnt matter whether i try or not, misery is the end result. What do i do!! im so sick of everything, i cant live like this. I just want one year of peace. Can this possibly be that im a negative person and im attracting all this to me??? i need help!