'he' vs. 'they' of 'a narcissistic blamer'

by Ty

My only concern is that this article seems to pick out 'he' instead of saying he/she or 'the blamer' ... I just got out of a relationship with a female blamer.

Good article though. Thanks

Note from Catherine
Hi Ty,
I totally appreciate what you're saying. Blamers can definitely be male or female and I wasn't trying to pick out one gender over the other. Originally, I used "they" throughout but then I had a number of people complain about that. If I put "he/she" every time it makes it awkward and so much harder to read (I tried). So, this quirk of the English language is tricky. I was just trying to be consistent in my pronoun throughout the article. So, I haven't figured out the perfect solution yet but I do want you to know that I'm not trying to put the blame on males more than the females. Gender isn't a factor with this type of personality.

Comments for 'he' vs. 'they' of 'a narcissistic blamer'

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Jul 06, 2016
Thank you for sharing
by: Anonymous

Wow thanks so much reading this has helped to understand some people's attitudes and my own.
I uave met many female blamers that when spoken to trying to adjust the outlook or situation in turn become someone that's called a bully or a nasty person also with family that uave not often been able to see how harsh they can be towards people as others in there company have also expressed the difficulty of talking and sharing peacefully to resolve things.
I must admit at times I have been defensive with these people and possible sunken to the sunken level I find that I uave also worked in these environments and felt I'm the problem feeling so anxious guilty worthless and a total loser because I'm the problem I must uave been to some extent but I Tey my best to listen and learn and I have changed to see and allow things to just breeze past me and not to feel bad and if someone wants to be men or angry then let them ots not my problem anymore and like you say with that attitude they have no power over me and just take it with a pinch of salt as deep down I like to think that everyone has a good heart and sometimes people just get a little lost I hope we all find our way.

God bless and thank you for your words of wisdom

Ps it would sound better as he/she

Sep 13, 2010
female blamer
by: nd

yes, im dealing with a female blamer (my significant other of 3 yeras) but just because you used "he" never once did i not get the message.
thank you for such a helpful and telling article. i will be getting this book...i only hope it is not too late for our relationship.
im kind of tired of things like even being blamed for her accidentally bumping me in the middle of the night. chocked up to i should've laid differently, etc..

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