by mary

My name is Mary. I have trouble with completing what I start and I am so tired of going in circles. Any advice?

Visitor's Comments
Date: January 9, 2008
Posted by: Catherine,

Hi Mary! That's a really good question. I can very much relate to it as for a huge part of my life, I felt like I was just going around and around in the same circle.

So, to help you break free from your circle, let's explore this a little more.

If you think back to the last project you started but didn't finish, what would you say was the reason you stopped? Was it:
- the project you started was something that you thought you "should" do but didn't really have a great desire to complete.
- you stopped because you self sabotaged yourself.
- you stopped because you simply lost interest in it.
- you were reacting to what everyone else was doing and thought you should do it too but really didn't enjoy it.
- you're more aware of what you don't want rather than what you do want.

Do any of these strike a chord with you? Or was it something completely different?

I find sometimes it's just because you may not be really clear on what you do want. You know you don't want your current job anymore or you don't want to live in the same place anymore but you're not totally sure what you do want instead. So, you may end up floundering just trying to avoid what you don't want. Trying to avoid something usually just ends up giving you more of what you don't want. It doesn't give you something to work towards.

Sometimes, just getting really crystal clear on what it is that you want can be enough to give you the motivation to complete something. Also, if you know exactly what you want, you can break it down into the different steps you need to take and then it doesn't feel as overwhelming.

There can also be times when you don't complete something simply because you have an old belief that you haven't dealt with yet. I can give you a personal example. I really wanted to buy a house. I must have gone to a million open houses looking for the perfect house. But, I could never find one. When I stopped to really think about it, I realized the reason was because in the back of my mind I believed that I couldn't buy a house by myself. I had this belief that I needed to have a boyfriend or husband to buy it with me. I was afraid of taking care of a place by myself. I wasn't sure I could do it. So, I would sabotage myself every time I got close to actually buying a place. Once I became aware of that belief, I was able to let it go and within months, I found the perfect house for me and bought it. So, long story short, do you think you have any old beliefs that are causing you to stop halfway?

Anyway, I could keep going but this is getting to be a very long post. So, let me know if any of these things sound like they could be the reason you don't complete projects. If not, maybe just give me a few more details and we can explore this some more and figure out a solution for you.

Date: January 20, 2008
Posted by: Anonymous
Title: Very insightful

This is very good, relate to most of the things mentioned her.

Comments for FOLLOW THRU

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Dec 28, 2014
by: Peter

This is helpful, great Idea. To buy a perfect the end perfect house for me.....

Mar 22, 2011
by: Anonymous

Finally some great advice...I have the same feeling, not of going in circles, but not being able to follow through.

I have started so many courses to change careers and the last one I thought I had finally found what I wanted to do, but then I self-sabotaged. I talked myself out of it and have since convinced myself that it wasn't what I wanted to I'm three years on and no further forward.

However, I think this website does at least give me a starting point...

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