Do other people get their dreams put-down?

by nalie
(bottom of the world)



Recently, I've come a really good inspiring speaker. This person was poor and people have always told him that he was retarded and illiterate. I was really moved, because someone told him "don't you ever let someone's opinion of you, become your own and then your reality!"(he eventually reached his goal). I was so moved because I recently wanted to take up a PhD program and I need a scholarship. I've got an A- grade average, and I know I have a really good chance of getting a scholarship. But lately, I have been so low. I got sick, and so my dream was put on hold, but the key thing that put me so low, was people saying I'm wasting my time...or that this is ridiculous, why on earth would you like to leave such a good job?!?(it's just average) I'm usually a cheerful person, and I always ask questions no matter how stupid they may seem because I have a genuine interest in learning. I have come to doubt myself about people looking or listening to me and thinking that I am too stupid to study somewhere like Cambridge university. And so, my real question to people out there is that; Do you always experience people who put you down in your dreams to the point where you are almost giving up?

Comments for Do other people get their dreams put-down?

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Sep 03, 2008
Sadly, yes other people like to put people's dreams down
by: Catherine,

Hi Nalie,

Yes, it's sad but lots of people end up putting other people's dreams down. Not always intentionally. They may want to keep you safe and worry about you if you make such a big change in your life. They like to take the safe route themselves of sticking to a paying job even if they don't like that job. They let their fears control their decisions. Other people don't want you to follow your dreams because then they wouldn't have the excuse as to why they didn't follow their own dreams.

Lots of reasons why people say the things they do.

Think about what you, and you alone, really want to do. If you want to go to Cambridge then go. You need to do what will make you happy. You don't want to have regrets later that you wished you would have done that.

Ignore their comments. As soon as you achieve your dream, you'll find that they're now your biggest supporters who suddenly say, "I knew you could do it" and "I told you it was a good idea". Short memories. : - )

If you start following your dream, you'll find that people adjust and will start supporting you as well.

It's your life and you have to live it to the fullest and that means tuning out the people who are too afraid to try anything.

You are plenty smart enough to do this. You go for it!! All you have to do is keep moving towards it and you'll have it in no time. I'm behind you 100%.

Sep 03, 2008
thank you so much! we just need to leave towards something everyday.
by: nalie

Wow, thank you so much for the support, In my life I very rarely hear that someone is behind me 100%! This is very encouraging. I really do encourage everyone out there to go for their dreams too. You'll feel like you are living towards something everyday!

Sep 09, 2008
A quote to add
by: Catherine,

Hi Nalie,

Here's a good quote that relates to what we were discussing:

"Noting who around you is quick to criticize and who is quick to encourage is a fast way to separate low achievers from high performance people"

Danny Cox & John Hoover from the book "Seize the Day: 7 Steps to Achieving the Extraordinary in an Ordinary World"

Or here's another one from the same book, "It's somewhat comforting to know that only people who are NOT willing to take risks criticize others."

It's far better to seek out the people who support you and want to see you succeed and there are lots of them out there. Like you said you'll feel like you're living towards something. You'll just be so much more alive and full of joy. Your passion and love of life will spread to those around you too. By following your dream, you're also encouraging someone else to follow their's.

Hope you're going full steam ahead now with your dream.

Sep 10, 2008
Destroyed Dreams
by: Anonymous

Here's an example of what someone's comments can do to your dream. At a young age I wanted to be a musician (guitarist) and earn an income in something that I loved doing. This was my dream. My father said that I could never make a living playing guitar. I should learn a trade. As a result, I believed him. 40 years later I work in a trade that I hate.

Sep 10, 2008
It's not too late
by: Catherine,

Thanks for sharing your story. I bet a lot of people can relate to it. Unfortunately, I think it happens a lot. Parents want to keep us safe. They don't want to see us struggle or have to worry about making a living. So, they choose the "safe" option for us and encourage us to choose that path.

I used to hear all the time that there was no money to be made in writing. Writers are all starving artists and that it would be much better to do something that would make me a good living. I believed it for a long, long time. It's actually only recently that I've been able to let that belief go. That's someone's else's belief, not mine.

The important thing to remember is that by following your interests, you open lots of new opportunities for yourself that you wouldn't have seen if you'd never done any exploring. For example, if you want to be a musician, there isn't just one job available for that interest. People tend to think of just one thing when they hear that you want to be something like a musician. They then think the odds are greatly stacked against you for being that musician who does make it big. But, someone has to be that musician, why not you? Also, even if you don't make it big, you'll have discovered tons of different things you could do in the music business that still provide you that joy of working with music. There are producers, agents, mixers, local musicians, song writers, musicians that work in the movie and advertising industries, or even music teachers. There's not just one job. There's hundreds and hundreds. You just have to find that job you like doing in the industry you love.

It's never too late to explore your love of music more. Remember Grandma Moses? She was in her 70's when she started her painting career.

Nov 20, 2009
by: Anonymous

My siblings never support me. Told me I reach too high.
I have had to stop talking to them, in order to regain the peace in my life.

Thank you for your words!

Oct 05, 2010
I believe in you
by: amanda

I am a real live person with a kind,strong heart.and I believe that you can be whatever you have passion to be.
soul crushing these people can be,best to keep as far away from them as possible.

we believe in you.

Dec 09, 2010
I would rather regret...
by: Danielle

...something that I did do, than something I didn't. I don't know where I heard this saying, but whenever I hear someone decide not to pursue a dream or goal of theirs or doubt it, I quote this. I think that regret is something that we fear more than the actual act. Our fear comes not only from can I do it, but am I going to regret taking the chance? Am I going to regret this decision? The truth is that if it is something that you for any instance drempt about, then you will regret not doing it more so than the chances of you taking the risk and doing it. Imagine doing what it is that you want to do...not just dreaming it, but really imagine yourself going through the motions to achieve it. Can you see yourself feeling any honest, in-your-gut type of regret? I don't think so honestly:)

Jan 15, 2011
Never Give Up
by: Teresa

I'm right there with you guys. I've always believed in having big dreams, and nothing is too big. I don't understand why some people want to put someone's aspirations down. Why do they find is so hard to believe that you can actually become successful? (i.e. to make it as an actress, musician, writer, etc.) It's not an easy road, and all those who've made it never said it was. I love reading the stories of all those who've paved the road. It's very inspiring. (Ex: Dave Grohl was homeless before getting signed onto Nirvana...or Katy Perry who struggled for years and was dropped twice from her record labels...and had 2 cars repossessed.) It's all about hard word, dedication, and never giving up on yourself.

Aug 14, 2013
same problem
by: Anonymous

Your not the only one who is going through this. my mother is the same way. I have no choice in going to college, or personal appearance. her first response to any sign of rebellion is to threaten kicking me out. she is also manipulative. she values her other kids far above what she does me. its my place to constantly kiss the familys ass without question. I have learned to despise her, her children and the wasted years under her barbaric rule.

Nov 12, 2013
Tired of feeling second class
by: Dan

I have poured myself out for others like water from a pitcher. I have put everyone first all my life with my life. Yet,I am made to feel like it's my duty to sacrifice for family and others.

I have had the life sucked out of me. I am always the good one. The problem is I feel like everyone is just waiting for me to make it big to cash in. Yet, most of the time I am basically ignored in conversation and relationships.

I am about to do very well. The question is what do I owe those who are just waiting for a payday. There is never any encouragement or interest in my efforts. I just want to make my mark and then be left alone. I feel sick to think that I owe the naysayers.

Oct 17, 2019
People who put you down
by: CPJ

People who put you down are basically losers. I learned through out my journey, people are frightened by your greatness. My advice to you is never tell anyone your goals and dreams. People are so insecure that they have to put others down. Also, try to find people who think like you. Look towards the universe for your guidance and support. Shoot for the moon and be among the stars.

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