Guest Post: Christine
We all go through times when we don’t feel particularly good about ourselves. Often something happens that gives our confidence a knock, but rather than brushing it off and picking ourselves up again, we let that voice inside our heads, which is always pointing out the worst things about ourselves and others, use it to keep pushing us further and further down.
You get rejected by someone and that voice starts telling you that you aren’t attractive, that you aren’t interesting, and that you will never deserve love.
You miss out on a job opportunity and that voice tells you that you aren’t smart enough, you don’t have the right charisma, and that you will always be stuck in a B-grade job that you find uninspiring.
But this is when we need to remember the old adage, said in various ways by many different voices: “Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail” Confucius.
But silencing that voice inside your head and finding your confidence and self-esteem again can be challenging. There is a lot of advice out there about what you should do, but there is no one size fits all approach, and while your friend may be encouraging you in a way that helped them, it might not be exactly what you need.
If you are struggling to build your self-esteem, consider trying something that works for your particular personality traits, based on your Zodiac sign.
While your Sun sign cannot tell you everything about who you are as a person, it can tell you a lot about your innate personality traits which can seem to cling to you from birth, even after the years of experience and growth that have made you the different and unique person that you are today.
So, check out our advice on how to boost your self-esteem based on your Zodiac sign.
As one of the Fire signs, Aries is excitable and impulsive and driven by the constant need to be ‘the best’. Aries matches confidence, passion and determination with impatience and a short-temper. While Aries is charismatic and always draws others to them, their relationships with others can be troubled as they are often overly focused on themselves, and can lose sight of the needs and perspectives of others.
Aries’ intense competitive streak can threaten their self-esteem as they often compare themselves to other people. But this is where Aries can use their self-involved streak to their advantage. Try to focus less on what other people are achieving and more on your own achievements, setting personal goals to better yourself, and taking the time to celebrate the small victories.
The only person you should try to be better than is who you were yesterday. - Unknown.
Taurus is very sensitive and very in tune with what is happening with the people and in the world around them. An Earth sign, Taurus seems to manage to stay grounded and focused when everything else is in chaos. They have a stubborn streak that allows them to persevere where others would give up. Taurus takes a while to warm up to people, as they take a while to decide to trust people with their ‘true selves’.
As Taurus rarely share their inner thoughts, they can come to believe that others will not like and accept them for who they are. They can also find themselves feeling uninspired as they tend to stick to a routine and commitments, even when they aren’t bringing them joy. Often what Taurus needs is a change of pace, whether it is a holiday or changing something big in their routine. This can help them realize they are capable of so much more, and that they have a soul and a story worth sharing.
It is a hard thing to leave any deeply routine life, even when you hate it. – John Steinbeck
Gemini has so many different sides that they can be difficult to keep track of, even for Gemini. An Air sign, they are highly intellectual and always interested in learning about the next new thing. They are the type of person who knows a little about a lot of different subjects. It can be difficult for Gemini to stick to a plan, as what seemed right for them yesterday might not seem to fit anymore today.
Both other people and the voice inside of Gemini’s head can accuse them of being fickle and shallow, but really they are adaptable and curious. The best thing that Gemini can do is to be self-aware, and to only make promises to themselves or others that they genuinely believe they can keep. Also, try and have one goal or commitment in life that you are dedicated to. Keeping this promise and eventually achieving this goal will give you a self-esteem boost.
Keep every promise you make and only make promises you can keep. – Anthony Hitt
Cancer is both deeply intuitive and deeply sentimental. A Water sign, they are guided by their emotions and always follow their hearts. They have a desire to help others and are always the first to volunteer. Cancer hates conflict and will do almost anything to avoid it, so often backs down when they should be stepping up. But wearing your heart on your sleeve means that you risk getting hurt.
More than most, Cancer is influenced by the people around them. They empathize with others, invest in their dreams and challenges, and will do almost anything to please. This means that Cancer needs to be scrupulous about who they surround themselves with, as energies are contagious. Cancer cannot afford to have people in their life who bring them down, deliberately or not. Break connections that hurt you, even if the breaking hurts.
Surround yourself with people that reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel, energies are contagious. – Rachel Wolchin
Leo is self-confident and knows they're a superstar. They love, and feel like they deserve, to be the centre of attention. Leo is also a very warm and generous person, and would never deliberately hurt anyone else, but sometimes their strength of will and determination means that they can unwittingly trample on the needs and feelings of others. Natural leaders, Leo is also a control freak.
Leo does not often suffer from self-esteem, as they never let their failures tell them that they are not worthy, they know that they can bounce back and do better. Leo manages less well when they feel like things beyond their control are sabotaging their success, and can quickly develop a ‘the world is against me attitude’. But Leo needs to remember that while they can’t control everything, they can control their attitude and response in all situations.
Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t. – Steve Maraboli
Virgo is smart, hard-working, and a unique mix of confidence and self-criticism. Virgos generally know their strengths and play to them, but they have incredibly high standards, so they are difficult to impress and often deeply self-critical. They are never happy with their results as they always believe that they are capable of more and have not yet reached their potential.
In order to keep on top of their flip-flopping self-esteem, Virgo needs to work on setting realistic expectations. It is a positive attribute to always believe one’s self capable of more, but it is detrimental to think that we can achieve everything at once. We all have limited time and energy, so set smaller, more realistic goals, knowing that you will do better next time. And then set more ambitious outcomes for each step on the path.
We are all failures, at least the best of us are.- J.M. Barrie
Libra is a social butterfly that thrives off the energy of others. But Libra’s keen desire to be close to the people that are important to them can leave them feeling like they are not strong enough to face the world alone, or that they are not sufficient within themselves. They often rely on others to validate them and reinforce their sense of self-worth.
In order to boost their self-esteem, Libra needs to find ways that they can show themselves that they are capable on their own. Start with small things that you would normally ask someone to help you with, and do them alone. Let these small achievements give you the confidence to try bigger things that will give you an even bigger confidence boost.
Be brave enough to live creatively. The creative place where no one else has ever been. – Alan Alda
Scorpio is one of the fiercest signs of the zodiac, and they are also highly intuitive which means that they can often see the nuanced path ahead of them, rather than just bulldozing through like some of the other ambitious signs. While Scorpio is generally scrupulously honest, they tend to be suspicious of the motives and actions of others and quick to jealousy.
It is a hard truth that in most cases jealousy and envy have very little to do with the other person, and almost everything to do with us, our own insecurities and our own fears. In this way jealousy, if we don’t let it get out of control, can be useful, as it can help us identify the inadequacies that we see in ourselves. Scorpio should not try and ignore their feelings of envy, but rather use them as a guide for how to work on themselves.
Negative emotions like loneliness, envy and guilt have an important role to plan in a happy life; they are big, flashing signs that something needs to change. – Gretchen Rubin
Sagittarius has the spirit of an adventurer and is always looking for the next big new challenge. They don’t like to stay in the same spot for long, and struggle against anything that threatens to curb their independence. This does mean that they can tend to be a bit superficial, as going deep often requires more time than they are willing to give. Further, as Sagittarius always has their eyes on the horizon, when they do finally turn around, they may see that their roots are rotting.
Sagittarius can sometimes find their self-esteem challenged when they feel like they are treading water and not moving forward. Their knee-jerk reaction can be to abandon everything and start on a new path. But Sagittarius needs to realise that not every adventure needs to have a clean slate. Sometimes diving deeper into something is the more challenging and fulfilling adventure.
I don’t want to not live because of my fear of what could happen. – Laird Hamilton
Capricorn believe in creating a safe and secure life, and aren’t afraid to do the hard work to get it. They take their responsibilities seriously and are always reliable. They also have a tendency to over commit, and then get stressed about fulfilling all their promises. Sometimes they can be so focused on the path that they have planned for themselves that they can miss important and exciting things around them.
Capricorn can often start to question themselves and feel inadequate when they fail to meet all their responsibilities. As a result, they should pay more attention to what they agree to. They will feel better about themselves for delivering better on less than killing themselves and failing to deliver on more. Capricorn should also practice lifting their head out of the daily grind. Not only will it open them up to new opportunities, but they will find that the time outside their tunnel helps them focus better while they are inside their tunnel.
Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss. – Eric Roth
Aquarius may come across a shy and quiet, but scratch the surface just a little and you will find an eccentric and energetic soul. Aquarius is also highly adaptable and can feel comfortable in almost any situation. They have an independent soul and fight against anything that might constrain their freedom. They are also very trusting and extend the freedom that they expect to others.
Aquarius can struggle with self-esteem when they feel like they are not doing enough. They are the type of person who are likely to recriminate with themselves about not working hard enough in the past. Aquarius needs to remember that they can’t change the past, but they can make the most of the future. They also need to remember not to be so hard on themselves. No one can be ‘on’ all the time.
Be kind to yourself. Above all else, remember that it’s OK to make mistakes along the way. – Philip Ross.
Pisces is a selfless person who puts their friends and family first. They quickly form deep and genuine connections with new people, accepting them for who they are and never trying to change anyone. Pisces can seem like they let life’s trials roll off them easily, and they never hold a grudge against anyone else. But their forgiving spirit does not always extend to themselves.
Pisces can get very upset with themselves, not so much about material failures, but more about failures of their moral code. They will beat themselves up if they say, or even think, something unkind about another person. Pisces needs to learn that thinking bad thoughts does not make them a bad person, it is only how you act on them. Negative thoughts are just something that the brain needs to do to process the world around it.
The most decisive event in your life is when you discover that you are not your thoughts or emotions. Instead, you can be present as the awareness behind the thoughts and emotions. – Eckhart Tolle