too much or not enough?

by chad

Hi all,

I am posting this message to see if I'm alone or not, basically I'm with a very nice girl at early stages time wise, but my problems lies with I think we should be more affectionate and over each other more, that's how it's been in previous relationships. We spoke last night because I felt like we were just going through the motions, she didn't seem overly in to it. I seem to initiate all the kissing she doesn't seem very interested in all that side, she seems to like to go straight to the cuddling, and then sleep, I like to be touched a lot and grabbed etc. Am I too needy and wrong to be this way?

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Sep 26, 2008
different beliefs
by: Catherine,

Hi Chad,

It sounds like you might have a couple things happening here. One is that you have a few beliefs (she should initiate, she should be more into it, etc) about relationships and how they "should" happen. Should's cause a lot of grief. Your girlfriend might have different beliefs about relationships. For example, she might believe if she's more aggressive then you won't respect her. She might believe that relationships should be taken slow so you can get to know each other really well first. Also, girls do tend to like to cuddle more than males. Same situation just different beliefs going on. Neither side is wrong. You're just both seeing the situation from different viewpoints.

Do you feel comfortable enough to talk to her about it? Then you'd get a good idea about what her beliefs are and how she sees the relationship moving. It'd be sad if you broke up with her just because it wasn't going like you thought it "should". You might be thinking that she doesn't like you enough when she really does like you and just wants to take it slow. Communication is key to a good relationship so maybe see if you can talk about what your expectations are and see what her's are and then see what compromise you can come up with.

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