Hate My Job - Mid Life in my 30's

I hate my job. I feel angry and depressed all the time.

I bring home my anger. My poor family. I want to quit my job and find something new. But with the lack of jobs out there I stay.

Do I quit my job or start fresh?
Do I stay and deal with the lack of support and more duties that I have come my way?

Life is too short and I dont want to feel this way.

Why does angry make me want to cry and make me feel helpless?
Guilt always follows.

Am I the only one that feels this way?

Comments for Hate My Job - Mid Life in my 30's

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May 01, 2009
Take back control of your life
by: Catherine, www.Life-With-Confidence.com

Hi Anonymous,

Here's a couple of quick suggestions for you.

Why do you hate your job so much? Is it because you feel you don't have enough support and are doing too much work? If that changed, would you then love your job?

If that's all that's causing you to dislike your job, are there things you can do? Can you talk to your boss about getting some help, can you figure out more efficient ways to do things, if most of your work is in one area is there a way to streamline it, etc. Can you think of possible solutions to the problems besides hiring more staff. Think about the things you can do. Some of your frustration may be coming from the fact that you feel like there's nothing you can do. There's lots you can do. Focus on what you want and how you can achieve that.

If you really don't like your company, have you updated your resume? Are you asking people if they've heard of anything, are you keeping your eyes open? You just need one job not hundreds. If you really want another job, start looking and getting ready for it. Do you need to brush up your interview skills? Do you need to update any skills to get the job you really want?

As you said, Life is too short to be in a job you hate so figure out what it is you really want and start working towards it. You might find that as you change your perspective towards your current job that you don't hate it as much.

Could you even apply to a different area in the company you work in?

So, take back control of your life. Once you start to take action then you'll stop feeling helpless. You'll know there's lots you can do to change things. So, start with figuring out what it is you really want. You could even start with what do you like about your current job? Is that the type of work you want to continue to do? Or do you want to try a different career altogether? Ignore the obstacles and just keep moving forwards.



Jun 04, 2009
At least you have a family
by: Anonymous

I have no one to go home to after my day at a job I hate. I hate the people I work with. I hate my life.

Jun 04, 2009
Time to change things
by: Catherine

Hi anonymous,

Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time right now.

I can actually relate to what you're saying because I went through a long phase where I could have written the exact same thing.

I know it may be hard to believe right now, but you do have a lot of power to change your life.

Maybe start with listening to what you're telling yourself. Are you always seeing the negative in everything? Do you feel defeated before you even start something? Do you talk yourself out of doing something that you want to do? Do you push people away if they try to talk to you? What are your thoughts focusing on most of the time?

You control your thoughts, they don't control you. That's an important first step. Quite likely you haven't been paying attention to what you're thinking about all the time. Just listen to yourself.

Listen to those thoughts and start to cancel the negative ones out. It sounds like you're getting stuck thinking about what you don't want too (you don't want to be alone, you don't want to work where you are, you don't want to work with your co-workers). Turn it around and start to think about what do you want. Then, how would you get it?

Also, think about where the main source of your anger and feeling down comes from. Is it because you are alone? Or is it because you're not happy with your job and career choice? Or are you still angry at some event from the past? It's important to figure that out because often an unhappiness in one area spills over to all areas of your life. So, you may realize that things aren't so bad at work for example and that you're just letting your feelings of loneliness spill over into that area.

Anyway, you can change things. Start with listening to your thoughts though. What are you telling yourself all the time?

There's lots of people who would love love to help you to turn things around. People do care about you.

It's actually a good first step that you've stated that you hate your life. Now, you know what you don't want anymore. Let's turn things around for you.

Jul 04, 2009
me too
by: home sick

i feel you i got a promotion and its just horrible i bust my behind , get there early, stay late and still get no respect, i want to look for a new job but the job market is scarce right now to say the leasr , any suggestions?

Jul 08, 2009
what don't you like
by: Catherine, www.Life-With-Confidence.com

Hi Home Sick,

That's too bad that your promotion didn't turn out like you hoped. What is it you don't like the most? Is it the fact that you feel like you're not respected? Or is it the fact that you're working long hours? So, once you know what you really dislike about it, can you change that aspect of it? For example, why are you working such long hours? Are there things you could do to change that? Think about what would make the job great for you. What would it look like and what would you be doing that would make it different. Lots of times by really thinking about that will actually allow you to see what action you can take to make the changes you want. You move towards what you want instead of feeling trapped.

And, if you really can't change it and you really do want to leave, then start looking for another job. Telling yourself that the job market is scarce right now is limiting yourself before you even start. You don't need a hundred jobs, you just need one. Think about what kind of job you would like. Which companies do you think would be good to work for? But, take action. Update your resume, research the various companies, ask around and see if you know anyone who knows someone over there, take a look at their web sites, see if they are hiring, maybe contact a job hunter company and see if they have anything, or create a proposal for a company and say what you have to offer and why you'd be the perfect fit for them. Yes, the job market has changed. It doesn't mean there aren't any jobs. It means you have to be more resourceful. Companies are being more choosy who they hire. Show them why you're a good fit and that you're not just waiting for them to come to you.

There's lots you can do. You just have to decide what it is you really want and then go after it.

Aug 18, 2009
30 is heavy!
by: Anonymous

Im turning 30 on 25th of august. wow 30 never thought i would reach my 30. Damn 30 years! full of regret full of mistakes. sometimes i want to end it all, so many people are suffering my family and even my wife. I fee i dont belong to any particular living thing in this world. I couldnt even make my wife be proud of me. first my parents now is my wife i guess im such a big looser really! true love..that is what im looking for. i want to be hug, even my parents never hugged me. i always smile i always seems to be a jolly happy person but deep inside damn! im not. im just a big sorry looser waiting to explode. damn life 30 is indeed heavy!

Sep 08, 2009
Wake up and Change
by: Mawardi

Hi anonymous,

As mentioned by Catherine, you have to take back control of your life. Speaking from experience, I once went through what you are going through now. I was stuck in my job for 7 years with no hope of getting out of it. Determination kept me going, and some time in 2007 I got a better job from a MNC in Penang, Malaysia. A couple of years later (some time mid of March this year),I had to deal with another blow in my life when I was laid off by the company. I felt distressed, angry, frustrated and all sorts of negative feelings. At the end I realized that these were heading me nowhere. I picked up my strength and moved on to find another job. I got it within a month after my retrenchment. My point is, it requires a lot of positive thinking, persistence and effort for one to solve his issues. In no time this will pay off. If I can do it, so can you Anonymous. Believe in yourself and the whole world is with you.

Apr 05, 2010
can relate
by: Anonymous

I am in the same boat as everyone here. Hate job, despise the people that I have to work with every day. It affects my home life as well. When I come home I should be able to leave all the shit behind but it consumes me. Like everyone has said, jobs are scarce. There is only so much a person can take. People can be so cruel in the workforce. I need and want out. I am glad I found this site so that I can vent!!!

May 13, 2010
JOB SUCKS
by: Anonymous

My company sucks to work for. They treat people like idiots and don't respect us. The people that have been there the longest get looked over for a raise. This guy that just started got a raise. I've been waiting on my raise for 2 years. I wish they would fire me so that i could collect un employment and go back to school. I get mad at my wife all the time because i feel that i can't control life. So i take it out on her. I am back in college and trying to pursue a career in something different but it will be 2 years till i graduate. UGHHH!!!!!!!!!!


Aug 17, 2010
I Know just how u feel
by: Anonymous

I used to love my job but for the past few months ive been so miserable there that I don't know what to do anymore. I've had so many personal problems in the last few years ive lost count and i now have severe depression too......i'd dearly love to hand my notice in but don't have enough money to do so and just don't feel in the right frame of mind to start a new one.....even if i had the confidence. I'm having councelling in the hope that it can help me sort myself out before it all gets too much and i just walk !!!Hope all ends well for you.

Oct 07, 2011
not suited for my job
by: Anonymous

I'm stuck in a job I utterly despise. I'm very adept with computers and technology but here I am stuck in a labor position wasting my potential and life. I have no formal education in tech or construction and that's a major obstacle. I find I don't have time or money for courses online or not. I scour help wanted ads for entry level tech positions but I have not been successful in finding any. I have updated my resume but the job market's so bad right now. It's really frustrating.

Oct 20, 2011
You are not the only one! I'm In Similar Situation
by: Anonymous

I'm in my late 30's. I used to love my job, a school teacher, since childhood, but now i hate it so much. I'm so stressed and depressed even tried to commit suicide, now i still thinking of suicide. My job is my main factor causing me to be childless. Worst of all, all colleagues as well as the top administrators (including our near-retire principal) oppressed me by gossiping bad about me and even blame me for everything. I used to excel in my job which resulted me in promotion within a short period of time. So many of them are jealous of me, thus when i'm severe migrain, they are very happy. My greatest disappointment is that most of them are very devoted to Christianity, go to church services and active in every religious activity (including preaching). Yet they created so many malicious stories/speculations about me. They even gossip bad about me when they are having their food! No empathy, but more miseries added to me. I never expect that professional group like them can be so uncivilized and unethical. Perhaps, they will be very happy to see me dead! Only God knows my feeling.

Dec 22, 2011
Me too
by: Anonymous

I'm in the same boat. I took this job due to layoffs and I hate it so much every day I wake up and feel like crying because I have to go to work. By the end of the day all im so drainsed I want to crawl into bed and do nothing. I hate the fact I struggle to pay the bills on this salary, the actually job is a repetitive task and my coworkers, although most are nice they are not very intelligent so when I enter the doors at work I feel as if I've had a lobotomy.

I've had jobs I've like (and loved before), coworkers I've liked a lot and made decent money (50k, enough to pay the bills, save and do the occasional fun thing). I have limited education and the job market is so bleak. I'm trying to find something else but I feel so depressed, I want to give up. If I knew I'd have to do this job for the rest of my life I'd commit suicide. I couldn't do it. As it is I'm this close to quitting. I've experienced sexual harassment (it's been dealt with) but it also plays a role in making me hate my job.

Feb 14, 2012
pushing 40 and going nowhere!
by: Anonymous

You are not alone. There are quite a lot of us out there who HATE our job, but are too scared to quit. I feel that way every single day, yet I am a single parent raising 2 kids on my own and they are the most important thing in my life. I try to remain positive about my life. I know I deserve better and I work hard. Someday, hopefully sooner than later, I will enjoy going to work each day. I am not getting any younger so I better start now!

Jun 09, 2012
Used to Love my Job but had to leave
by: Anonymous

I resigned from my job at the end April 2012. Although I loved some of the people and the job itself as it was a newly created position and I worked damned hard (taking work home as well) to look after 300 contracts and implement systems, negotiate cost procurement, training etc. Unfortunately, I was also sorting out the H&S Department implementing systems as well as ordering and testing tools/equipment,and because the secretary refused to do her job I had to play receptionist as well. In effect, I was doing more than I should and on top of that I didn't get a pay rise whereas everyone else did. It affected my stress levels as the secretary just sat there filing her nails whilst I was trying to balance figures and put together proposals and do her job. When I brought this to the attention of my manager he just made fun of me and said 'you speak to her. We want to get rid of her because she is useless which is why we are giving you her job as well' In the end it affected my health and home life. I ended up bursting into tears in the toilets which was not good. Now I find out that they have given the job to my mate and taken all of the responsibility off her as well as the phones which means far less stress for her and she is able to produce results quickly whereas I was constantly interrupted. I am now working in a temporary role which isn't what I want to do and I miss the old job I had originally put together. I just feel used and upset that they didn't do that for me when I asked. I have had to avoid my ex work colleagues/mates as it upsets me too much. I have also heard on the grapevine that they thought I wanted to be a manager when I had told them I wanted less responsibility. I just don't get it and I know I should let go, but it angers me so much that they played favorites.

Jun 10, 2012
I know what it is like
by: Anonymous

I know what it is like not to like your job or the environment. A few years back I was working in a job I didn't like much and in a an environment I didn't like. I used to look at the calender thinking how am I going to get through the month? I was scared of leaving because I didn't have another job to go to. I also had responsibilities, rent to pay and bills. I fantasied about living my job but didn't not have the courage to do it.

One day I finally had the courage to, I was scared but relived and the coming months were hard because I didn't have an income coming in. After a few months I got a higher paying job in a career I have always dreamed of and I have never looked back since.

I will say to anyone who feels that their job is making them miserable to seriously consider their options, because life is to short and we owe it to ourselves not to live a miserable life but to be happy doing what we love!

Jul 01, 2012
Life stinks
by: Anonymous

Im in my 30's with some college background and think I'm a good person, but it's like LIFE treats me like crap. I have a marijuna addiction--this makes things that much worst for me. I hate my job, I'm limited to what I can do for fun because of my finances. I lack self confidence and discipline. I want to change, but I don't know how or believe I have what it takes.

Sep 05, 2012
everything sucks
by: PM

I take my job home with me, my new boss doesn't listen to me & the majority of my co-workers are tools. I am 42 and feel it is too old to change careers or job...I have a house payment and major debt, what to do. I am single and I think I pretty much hate myself so I won't find a husband.

Sep 12, 2012
STUCK WITH JOB. I DUNNO WHEN I CAN GET ANOTHER JOB.I AM SEARCHING
by: keiradead

After i come here, only i know there are many ppl who hate their job. I am 30 and in somewhere in Borneo. I really hate my job, i have been looking for a job while holding this job. But now close to one year, after the numerious resumes sent out, i still didn't get any offer. There are just too few jobs or that i only have a diploma not a degree. I really wanna run out of the hell. I hate the job and the people in my company. I am stuck. I wish i can just resign and don't have to see / work with the people. I have car loan to pay and my parents will nag if i just quit. I hope my colleagues can be all dead. I try of committing suicide because i hate that i have no control at all. for the sake of living, i can't pick a company or job that i like. I really hope to die. I kinda hate the country that i live in. I wanna die but i don't know where to hang myself. I really hate to live because what i have gone through. This job makes my life worse. Ijsut wanna get out. Can anyone just offer me a good job? When can i get another job? As simple as that, it will solve my problem. A job with good company and ppl.

Dec 08, 2012
Fuck this world. Fuck you, I hope you burn in hell
by: Anonymous

40 years old. Work in IT. Have been working since 14. I have nothing. Lost wife and baby in car wreck 6 years ago. Incredibly smart and attractive. I see through life quite a bit. Find most people are mindless tools. Try to be a good person, but often get shit on and left alone. I Hate hate hate hate people. Can't stand them. Criminals and tools seem to run everything. Drinking is my only relief. I want to die.

Jan 01, 2013
I HATE MY JOB TOO - IN EARLY 30s
by: Anonymous

I'm 31 years old, never married, no children, and I absolutely hate my life!!!! You'd think I would be happy, as my brother said, because I don't have the demands of family or a spouse but guess again. I hate the career I've invested 8 years of my life in and just feel like something is seriously missing in my life. I don't enjoy anything about life and it's been this way for as long as I can remember because it feels like I'm just existing...not living...and it's not getting better, it's getting worse. There's this void or emptiness that I don't know how to fill that everyday like most of you who posted comments I don't want to live anymore like this. It's like living in a dark, deep hole and not knowing how to dig myself out. I wake up each morning dreading the day, getting sick to my stomach before leaving the house to go to work, and crying myself to sleep at night. It's to the point of desperation really. I can understand how you feel...if any of you have suggestions please share...

Jan 12, 2013
My life is shit
by: Anonymous

I turned 30 this year . I feel internally that I am the same person as I was at 17 .. Where did the time go. I just quit my job at 10 years because mine too was useless shit with bad management and a shit company. I lucky got a new one but I am feeling like its going to be the same .. People are fucked everywhere .. Top it off my husband quit and is looking for work. I have a cat .. A shitty townhouse .. No kids of my own just a step ... My family is nuts I feel like I have no friends. I wish I could just move to Paris and never come back start a whole new life to top it off my husband cheated on me on our second year of marriage with a girl who was 5"0 and fat and ugly.. I am 5"9 weigh 125 pounds blonde and everyone says I am pretty but all I see is ugly .. So he cheated down ...

Why did I stay .. Why am I starting over at 30 .. I just want someone who loves me back as much as I love them.. I want a job where everyone is friends and meaningful..

I am sick of everyone and everything. I jus want to end it all

Feb 02, 2013
Jesus can bring peace to your life again.
by: Anonymous

I came here to complain about my life and why my job makes me angry but i realized that i can have a great life as long as i keep Jesus first. If i dont forget that he carries all my burdens and died on the cross for my sins that i might have everlasting life in heaven once my flesh gone. Accepting Jesus as my personal savior is the best thing ive ever done because the holy spirit is a protector of my soul from the evils of the spirit world. Once we leave this earth we only have 2 places we can go.. Heaven or hell. i know where i want to go. Please dont take the easy way out cuz i want to see all of you great and worthy people in heaven singing praise to God one day. Love you brothers and sisters like Christ loves each and every one of us.

Feb 03, 2013
i hate life on earth
by: Anonymous

I just turned 30 and I hate it...I feel like I'm still 16 because my life went by sooo fast....I didn't get to ejoy a lot of it.married @ 18.have two kids now.13 and 8...been divorced for 5yrs now...I really hate my life.is it normal? Probably not....I'm kno I won't b a teenager again and I sure as fack don't want to be like old people.I don't look my age or feel it..but sometimes I feel like life has ended for me..nothing is really fun anymore.its boring all the time....I feel like committing suicide sometimes...its like fighting with myself over everything....I kno I won't committ suicide because I kno thts not right..I do good and treat others fair.I'm nice.nice looking.have a 27yr old bf..but I still hate life...wish we never got old.I regret my life but I appreciate the experience..honestly I wish God never made earth or people...wish we all cud jyst b happy souls floatin around the heavens....seriously tho I'm thankful fr being alive to see my kids n hav some things...but I honestly do hate it here...where's the rewind button...ihml.fml

Feb 04, 2013
reply to myself jyst above
by: same

itll be fine..some days are good, others not so much..im glad i have my friends that keep me encouraged...I do believe things will get better someday...i still say we should jyst be loving happy spirots wihout bodies and races and be happy all together in peace and harmony in outher space/ heavens

Apr 02, 2013
Completely Lost
by: Anonymous

I thought college would make my life better. Coming from an abusive home, growing up in a dangerous neighborhood, and abandoned, I was always told education was the key out of poverty and success was guaranteed. I now realize it was wishful thinking and advice from people who heard it from other people. College did not guarantee anything other than student loans and disappointing low pay jobs with zero satisfaction. I followed other people`s advice and ended up doing nothing I love. Now I`m 31 and wondering what the hell I`m doing with my life and feeling completely lost. The low self esteem caused by all the previously stated factors created a series of poor choices in career and life choices. Now I hate my life and the person I`m with, even though she is a great person. My failures are reflecting on my relationship and I watch every day as it all crumbles apart.

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