by Catherine Pratt
A huge number of people don’t know who they really are.
Yes, they know they work at a certain job and live in a certain community but deep down they have lost the awareness of who they really are, what they’re truly feeling and what their purpose is.
A sign that this may have happened to you is when you start to feel a sense of helplessness or feel that you’re not actually in control of your life.
In an attempt to deal with this inner powerlessness, you may also become:
- very goal oriented and determined to accomplish something
- attached to obtaining certain things or being around certain people
- feel like you’re constantly struggling
- try anything and everything to feel like you're in control of your life.
- feel that you absolutely need a certain amount of money, or be around particular people or own specific things to be happy; that without them, you have nothing.
These actions stem mainly from feeling that something is missing in your life. You don’t know exactly what “it” is but you just feel that there’s something. You feel unsettled and as you struggle to fill that constant hole within you, you may feel tense, anxious, or stressed.
As you continue to remain unaware, you'll mostly likely find that you can’t move forwards in your life or feel that you're just going around in circles. Any success that you do achieve won’t bring you the inner happiness you so desperately crave.
You may also stay in unsatisfying relationships because you can’t really connect to others and you basically live a one dimensional life never quite understanding why your life has gone the way it has. You just feel that there has to be more to life but you have no idea what or how to find it.
By being able to develop inner awareness, you become much more involved with life because you’ll suddenly understand yourself and others with a new and exciting clarity. The stories you tell yourself and others are suddenly no longer necessary. You accept and love reality exactly as it is. You’ll become open and attentive to each moment of your life and you let go of the thoughts and suffering that you’ve held on to from your past.
With awareness, the emptiness inside you finally disappears. You fill that hole simply by becoming conscious instead of living your life on auto pilot. You also cease to look for the answers "out there". You allow the real you to emerge and people start to notice a new radiance and calmness about you. You’ll find that you love to share your joy of life with others and you gain a sense of spiritual power.So how do you develop inner awareness?
Whenever you notice that you’re feeling bad which could be things like angry, depressed, bored, resentment, jealousy, or frustrated, question your feelings. For example:
• why am I so angry
• why am I feeling depressed?
• why am I feeling hurt?
Remember that people don’t make you feel a certain way (angry for example), they’re just a trigger for your emotions. It’s your reaction that you need to figure out. Those feelings are trying to tell you something. You just need to listen and gain an awareness of what it means.
Become a witness or an observer of yourself. See how your thoughts cause you to react and also act in certain ways.
• Are your actions a result of limiting beliefs or just habit?
• Are you trying to gain approval or manipulate others?
• Why are you doing what you’re doing? What is your true intention behind your actions?
• Do you believe that you “have” to do things in a certain way? (example, you have to keep doing this job you dislike in order to pay the rent)
• Are you letting thoughts from the past rule your future?
• If you were able to let go of one of your beliefs, how different would your life be?
Relax and stop struggling, stop trying so hard, stop trying to manipulate things to go your way, just stop doing and let yourself just “be”. Accept things as they are. You need to find that gentle flow of life and go with it not against the current. This doesn’t mean that you stop taking responsibility for your life. It’s more guiding your life in the direction you want instead of trying to force it.
Another part of letting go is releasing all your beliefs that people or things “should” behave in certain ways. “She should appreciate what I’ve done for her”, “he should give me a Valentine’s Day card”. Let go of all the “should’s” in your life.
It’s important to keep reading books and utilize other ideas that not only inspire you but motivate and teach you new ideas and concepts. You may also want to try things like meditation, yoga, or pilates. Also, try to find a friend or a group that you can learn from but also lean on for support when you’re first learning to change your thinking.
Pay attention to where you’re spending your time. Are you caught up in doing “busy” work or distractions like tv, movies, socializing in an attempt to relieve those unsettled feelings you have. The feelings won’t go away until you deal with them.
Also, do you have a general direction you're heading? This isn’t do you have a specific goal. It’s more do you know what general direction you want to go? Do you have a vision of what you want to do with your life? This doesn’t even need to be exact as it could be simply that you know you want to explore certain things more, that you want to buy a house, or that you have a list of places you want to visit. It’s understanding what excites you about life and knowing what your values are. By having this direction, you cease to drift through life. You instead start to guide yourself in the direction you need to go.
Along with monitoring your actions comes listening to your inner voice. Listen when it tells you you're getting distracted and going down the wrong path. It will tell you but you have to be willing to listen.
Forgiveness is an often misunderstood emotion. True forgiveness is very much an awareness of how you have grown, learned and benefited from a situation. It’s about you and gaining a deeper understanding of yourself. I have a much more detailed article on this coming in the next few days.
There is this mistaken belief that if you get more money or a better career or better friends, then you will be able to do more of what you want to do which is supposed to finally lead you to happiness.
The truth is that the required steps are in the wrong order this way. If you develop inner awareness of who you are, why you act the way you do and know what you really want, you'll discover the meaning of being content and happy. You’ll also be able to accomplish what you need to do in order to achieve what you desire. You’ll just naturally start to focus on goals and actions that are the most fulfilling for you and others.
You’ll also discover that you’re able to connect with people on a much deeper level than you ever could before. Your whole life will suddenly look and feel completely different and all you’ve done is develop inner awareness.
My book, "3 Questions That Will Change Your Life" will provide you with a much more detailed approach in an easy step by step process. Quickly you'll gain awareness and also more control over your life. Going with the flow will suddenly just be a fact of life. It's a very simple process but it works brilliantly. You'll be amazed at a what a difference it suddenly makes for you. 70 pages. Ebook Version ONLY. PDF Format