Why bother?

by Laurie

I'm 61, marriage number 5 is disintegrating, just moved into the smallest place I've lived in since I was 21. I'm way too old to be in this position, 4 years from retirement, 2 months into a 30-year mortgage, no savings, no pension. I'm a reasonably intelligent, well-read person. How could I have been this stupid all these years? The obvious common denominator in marriage is ME. I've stuck with a job I don't particularly care about for 29 years because the money was good. But it has no benefits, no pension and I'm too old to get vested in a pension plan at a new company. I am numb, tired and discouraged.

I'm very worried because I seem to have flat-lined on my love for my animals. I have 3 horses, 7 pygmy goats and 3 dogs and just feel nothing where they were once my first priority. Everyone is being well taken care of but I have no pleasure in them. Is this a common reaction to a drastic life change?

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