We are three sisters in our family and I am the youngest. My middle sister is 10 years older than me and my elder 12 years older. My elder sister and myself are both working, married with children.
My middle sister , however is going to be 50 this year and she hasn't married and has not had any children.
Ever since i got married and had my kids, she has had what i would call meltdowns about how she has not settled down in her life got a husband and had children. I understand that she is in a difficult situation, i don't know how it happened. She has always been very successful in her career, and generally a pretty independent woman. She has always done whatever she wanted and seemed to know what she was doing/wanted.
And now as the years have gone, she is very angry, bitter, blaming and generally very negative. She seems to hold my eldest sister accountable for "not having told her" about her biological clock, nor doing anything to nudge her in the right direction during her 30's and 40's and blames her for lost time especially, the last two years as she was considering having a baby. However, she didn't really take any positive action herself as such and nothing came of it.
During that time she had a lot of emotional outbursts with both me and my eldest sister, always seemingly holding us responsible and saying things like if only she had "real sisters who were there for her", she wouldn't be in this situation.
There have been a lot of heated exchanges mainly she over analyzing the past and blaming and we defending ourselves. Many things have been said over the years and feelings are hurt for all parties. It is hard to soften to her cause as she continues to be very negative and draining. She simply regrets her whole life (almost) and can pin point who is to blame at every point.
As her sister I love her and want things to work out for her. But I am emotionally drained and fed up of her attitude of negativity, blaming and self pity.
Should i feel guility for what she doesn't have? Am i supposed fix her life?
Personally, i feel that she needs to take some positive action, and we will support her whatever she decides. But i don't think it is my place to make a decision for her and nor do i feel it is right for me to agree with her analysis of her past life and the blame that she is putting on my eldest sister mainly, me a little bit, my mum, her ex boyfriend, the fact that she is so busy at work all the time etc.
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