Mabe I am a good person...

by Briana
(USA)

I'm 15 homeschooled and try everything in my power to make my mom happy. 10 out of 10 times it doesent work. When I was very little (around 4ish) she would compare me to my friends and cousins (I greatly dislike those people now because of that). She told me Im the main cause of all of my family's problems after I lost an earing that she gave me ( I found it on the floor of my room). She told me all throughout my bringing up that if she dies or gets sick and goes to the hospital she'll blame me. She likes my best friend more than me. I'm an idiot, completely imcompentent, and lazy according to her. I, however make my brother breakfast, lunch, dinner, vacume, clean the bathrooms, help my brother study and other things. And yet she can be extremely nice every once in a blue moon ( mabe once every 3 months for a day or two). She tells me she loves me and she gave up her life, pay and retirements to homeschool me (the public school here is extremely violent) and I appericate that she did. But Ive alwalys felt I was never good enough. I've been secretely suicidial from when I was 8. My Gramma and Uncle apperciate me and tell me I'm good at things and my mom get very mad at them for that and says I don't deserve praise, and that it makes me think I'm perfect. My mom embarasses me, makes me the village idiot, and loves me despite my imperfections. I'm glad I read this article though. I've hated myself for as long as I can rember because of her mabe my Gramma and uncle are right about me being a good, talented person. But hopefully mabe il be good enough one day. Thanks for lisining no to many people do. God bless!!

Comments for Mabe I am a good person...

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Mar 18, 2019
 It's called abuse
by: Suzie

You sound like a wonderful person. How your Mother is treating you is wrong! She is mentally and emoemotionally abusing you to keep you docile and compliant and trying to please her. She is possibly a narcissist or other personality disorders individual.Get away from her asap. She is destroying a good person and that is not love.
Oct 15, 2015
 just like my mom
by: hannah

when i was around 7 years she started all sort of things like if i were right she tells me to admit that am wrong it makes me feel like am not her daughter i cry from morning till night she insult me with bad names such you are a fool , are u insane , bastard and so on but i think the best thing to do is just keep quiet maybe someday she will change. take heart frd
Mar 22, 2013
 Fly be free!
by: Anonymous

I too was plagued by thoughts of suicide as a result of growing up in a home with a n mother. Little did i know that the person i looked to for love and protection was the wolf at my door. The empty, hateful stares. always with the sideways comments.Ex: "Hey mom i'm gonna give modeling a try". Her reply " Your father has psoriasis, what if they crawl up all over your face? Then what will you do?".When i was in first grade i had i teacher that would call me out at free time because she liked to fix my hair in different styles.I had long,curly hair and she told me how pretty i was. One day i came home from school and my mother cut all my hair off. I remember looking in the mirror, crying.There was a very pleased look on my mother's face.These are just a couple examples of the mental and emotional hazing she put me through. Educate yourself about this personality disorder.You are fortunate to detect this so early in your life.You weren't put here to please your mother.You are an "individual" with your own special gifts.There are things you like about yourself.Hold tightly to that because those are the very things she wants to take from you.Our mother's gave birth to us but they did not give us life. God bless!
Mar 21, 2013
 life will get better
by: A new day

Dear Bri, I don't think it helps you for people to tell you that your mother really does love you. She may not. She may. But you know whether what you experience through her feels like love and helps you feel excited about life and who you are in this world, or whether you feel less valued. She may not be purposely mean, but your mom may be an unhealthy person emotionally. I grew up with one like that, and it took me many years to understand that I had value. Life is different now; in fact, I actually believe that all of those demeaning experiences helped me to empathize more with others. But for a long time I wondered why it seemed that everything about me was wrong and shameful. I'm glad that you have other family members who respect and care about you, and, it sounds like, love you. You are a child of the universe, a child of God, and God created you to be happy and to contribute to others in the world. But be around positive people as much as you can. You're young, and may have to be with your mom for a few years longer, but it won't be forever. And if she is able to get through hard times and show appreciation for you, all the better. But if she doesn't, remember that you are cherished. The world wants to see the wonderful being that you are becoming.....
Feb 08, 2012
 You are really a strong girl...
by: Rekrytointi Wsteczny

You are welcome Miss Briana,
And you are really a strong girl,

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."

So you are a nice daughter just be all right and take care of yourself.

I hope by the time now everything would be all right in your life.

Have a nice day, and just take care of yourself, our mom, your brother, every one.
Feb 04, 2012
 sucks
by: Anonymous

Sounds like my dad. He gives away all my things and everything is always my fault. Yet my brother is the angel of the family even though he has no friends, or a degree and manipulates them. I was looking for him to respect me and be and he doesn't so I gave up and I don't care anymore.
Oct 19, 2011
 Thank you
by: Bri

To the person who commented above: thank you! I was pretty stressed when I wrote that, my family is in the middle of a move across the country and I was kinda mad at my mom when I wrote that. My mom was stressed and took it out on the family. I see what you mean. If you are reading this, the reason I wanted to prove I love her was because she has bouts of depression so I try and make her feel better. But thanks for your input! : D Have a great day!
Oct 06, 2011
 I know your mother loves you.
by: Rekrytointi Wsteczny

just answer me that why do you think that you need to prove your love to your mother? just be nice and everything will be fine. you dont need to prove yourself. And please dont keep a sucidal tendency. Your mother loves me than every person on this earth. She just want you to bee succesfull. Thats it. Thank you!

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