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Let's Talk About Guilt
April 17, 2018
The Life With Confidence Ezine
In This Issue
What do you want to know more about with building your confidence?I want to make some changes to this newsletter and maybe change the topics I write about.
So, that's why I'd love to hear from you as to what you think you need to learn or know so you can have that confidence you dream about.
Or what issues are you struggling with right now and would like some help with? For example, are you struggling to deal with negative people, are you struggling with your emotions overwhelming you, or do you hate that people are walking all over you all the time?
Or maybe you're enjoying the confidence tips I've been providing.
Either way, let me know so I can write about the topics that will be the most helpful to you.
Hit REPLY right now while you're thinking about it and let me know. I really do want to provide the most helpful information to you so let me know what you need and I'll do my best to provide it.
Let's Talk About Guilt - Why it holds you backWhat Is Guilt And Why Does It Hold You Back From What You Want To Do?
Let’s talk about guilt. It’s not a great feeling, is it?
By definition, guilt is feeling of deserving blame for something. It's a state of mind you probably want to avoid but it's not always bad. The good thing about guilt is that it can be a good check mechanism. What I mean by that is that it's an emotion that can move you to action and get you to do “the right thing”.
For example, your friend asks you to help him move some stuff on Saturday and you promise to be there. Saturday comes and you're tired and don't feel like doing it. But you know he's depending on you and you'll feel guilty later if you don't show up. So, you keep your promise and you help out your friend. You've done the right thing by doing what you said you would but it's also beneficial to your friendship as you're being a true friend. So, in this case, guilt was useful.
Where guilt can be bad is when it gets out of control and you start letting your fear of feeling guilty rule your life. You stop making your decisions based upon what you want to do and instead let your fear of letting someone down, or hurting someone's feelings, or just not wanting to feel that horrible sensation of guilt to decide what actions you'll take.
If you're a people pleaser, you're going to know exactly what I'm talking about here. You may even feel guilty after having a basic conversation with someone because you might have said something in the wrong way or they might have misunderstood what you were saying so you drive yourself crazy feeling guilty about what you said.
Guilt can also hold you back from achieving the things you want out of life in another way. You might feel guilty about spending time and money on growing a side business. Or you want to do something just for you but you feel guilty because it would take away precious time from your loved ones to attend an event. Or you'd feel guilty if you didn't get to tuck the kids in at night because you decided to go back to school.
It's easy to fall into this guilt trap even when you know what you want to do is important and it can lead you into convincing yourself to turn down the opportunity.
Here’s one more problem with guilt. Not only can it stop you from doing what you want to do, it can also cause you to hold back and not give something your all.
For example, if you feel bad about missing dinner with the family, you’re not going to be fully present and committed in that client meeting or the class you’re taking. The guilt you’re feeling is keeping you from committing fully and being completely focused on your activity. And, as we talked about in last week's newsletter about the dangers of fractured attention, it means that you're not being fully present because you're conflicted.
It’s also taking a lot of the joy out of whatever it is you're doing. This may not seem like a big deal at first glance, but it takes a lot of the positive energy and drive out of your sails. It’s that energy that makes you push a little harder, try a little longer, and do all the little, seemingly insignificant things that make all the difference in the end.
The guilt also gives you an easy excuse to give up. Life isn’t easy and any goal worth reaching takes work and effort. Sometimes it’s easier to give up than to keep pushing hard, solve problems, or resolve conflicts we’d rather avoid. That guilty feeling may be just the excuse you were looking for to justify giving up.
So, guilt can be a positive thing that motivates you to do the "right thing", but it can also be the reason that you don't make the best decisions for yourself.
That’s why it’s important to pay attention to your feelings of guilt and ask yourself if it’s productive or if it’s holding you back.
So, there's more to guilt than you probably originally realized. This is why it's important to gain a better understanding of why you're feeling guilty and also what is the best way to deal with that guilt. By addressing these feelings of guilt and working through them, you can greatly improve your chances of being able to live the life you want and also live to your true potential.
How To Deal With Feelings of GuiltSo, let's take an even deeper look at guilt and why it happens and what you can do about it. Understanding this emotion is so valuable because then it's not driving your decisions or making you give up on yourself. This article will give you some solid tips on how to deal with those feelings of guilt.
Motivational QuoteThis week's motivational quote comes from Marcel Proust.
Let Me Know What Info You NeedThat's it for this week.
So, before you go, hit reply and let me know what you're struggling with right now and what information you feel would really help you out right now.
Have a good week and I'll talk to you again in two weeks.
The Legal Stuff
Please be advised that the opinions expressed here are purely those of the author, Catherine Pratt. You read and act upon it at your own risk.
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