you placed in words what I've intuitively understood through several relationships. just had a long relationship end for acting with kindness compassion and love (the equivalent of throwing the baby out with the bath water) while being verbally shredded. someone once told me the person who blames you and assigns attributes to your character with such anger is actually referring to ones self. its terribly sad because i truly love her and her imperfections. if she would only desire to see them.