Want my glass to be Half full instead of Half emptyby Heather
My Name is Heather and right now I feel as if my life is crumbling little by little.I have always been surrounded by negativity... My mom is a very negative person so since birth all I have ever really known is to always see that bad in things instead of the good. I'm tired of living my life like this... Even though I have been trying and I have actually progressed from where I was at first but every now and then my mind just goes back to thinking of the bad things going on in my life. I start thinking that no one likes me because of a certain way they looked at me or spoke to me when in reality it really wasn't that serious, I feel like if my boyfriend acts a certain way he wants to break up with me or leave me or is cheating on me when again that's not even the case, I don't like making new friends because I don't know what they'll think of me and I hate going to places by myself....Basically I feel as if the whole world is out to get me and that everyone is out to do something bad to me. I wasn't like this until I started dating a guy in high school I was with him for 3 years and he was abusive physically and verbally and it doesnt help that my mom is negative and verbally abusive as well. Once I broke up with the guy my life started to look brighter and I was actually happy and care free and really positive but I guess once my mom saw that I was enjoying my life she just started putting me down and my self esteem dropped again but this time it's at its all time low. I'm grateful to say that I have been with my recent boyfriend for 2 years and this man is nothing but sweet and extremely positive and he treats like a princess I love him so much and I guess you can say I'm trying to change my outlook on life because of him. He is always looking at life as a glass half full and its never half empty... I admire that so much about him and I'm hoping that one day I can do the same. This negative attitude has affected my confidence, it has affected my relationship with people, and I really don't want it to affect the relationship I'm in now because I know what I have is good and don't want to risk losing it if I can change this mind set. |