I googled "How to deal with someone that blames you for everything wrong in their life" and got this article. I also saw an excerpt from the book listing some of the traits of "blamers" and their victims. I cried while reading it because it is dead on. My boyfriend of two and a half years is textbook. I had no idea why he acted the way he does. Everything in his life is someone else's fault, he contradicts himself constantly and only gets angrier when you point that out. When I try to defend myself and tell him I didn't say that or I didn't do anything he blows up. He makes up conversations we had where I was a jerk to him. Everything I do is to ruin his life and make him miserable as far as he is concerned. In reality, I do everything I can to try to make him happy, because he is so much nicer when he's happy. I couldn't figure out WHY I let myself be in this situation. Why do I let him make me so upset? Because he has me convinced that it IS my fault, that if I were a better person he would be happier. The truth of the matter is no one and nothing will make him happy. He will not change. When we met he was the most wonerful, sweet, amazing man I'd ever met. Shortly after we moved in together I learned how he really is. His friends have no idea, they think he's the best thing since sliced bread. For a long time I thought it was my fault, there must be something I'm doing wrong. I have recently decided to leave him and take back my life. I noticed that I am not the same person I used to be. I was never one to be walked on or treated as though I am less than. I used to have a life with friends and activities and now my world revolves around him. When he's at work I do nothing but sit at home. He's angry about working and blames me for making him get a job. He blames me for him failing out of college. He tells me he never gets to do anything or see his friends. In reality everything is always about him. We ONLY hang out with his friends and do what HE wants to do. If I have anything to say about it then it becomes the end of the world. I am buying the book this evening. Even though I have decided to leave him I think this will be an invaluable tool to deal with these kinds of people in life. It took a lot of courage to decide to leave but you just have to realize you do NOT deserve to be made to feel as though you're less than worthy. I am sure I will find someone who can appreciate me and love me without making me cry every day.