Seeing that I am not losing my mind!
I read your article and it is almost as close to seeing my husband on paper as possible.
I have spent years thinking I am crazy, thinking it was all my fault, thinking I am always wrong and trying to please this man so he would be nicer to me more often. But I know nothing can please someone like this, unless you give them full control!
I aslo have been living with him telling ME Im bi-polar, depressed and just a bad person. I have spent hours fighting with him about things he said and done to me, but it was my fault or I am wrong cause that is not the way it is at all. Even though he does the same things all the time I am wrong for telling him and standing up to him when he he makes me feel like crap for not giving in to him. He thinks I am the bully for standing up to him.
He also puts on a great show for the counselor we were seeing, but that stopped as soon as the couselor wanted to see more of him.
I have been shutting him out, but I am the childish/selfish one for doing that. But I have no other way to regain myself and my own self worth. For so long I told him marriage is about being equals, but I see with this type of person unless someone has control there will never be equals in anyway. With him it is either all or nothing, no matter what I say that is how he takes it and I am the one he says does not get it.
I might not be able to get that book cause I am still angry and hurt. It is hard to get over this type of demeaning actions and it takes a lot of time. But I know I will as soon as I am able to leave all that behind and move on. I think this book will help me very much down the road that he wont be on with me in the soon future.
Thanks for writing this, I hope this gets out to more people living in the type of world where nothing is fair, even our right to be in the same world with a narcissist (Unless they allow you to)!