Relationships that go right but make you go hmmn.

by Brandy
(Arizona)

My fiance and I have been together for over a year now. I love him a lot and I went through a lot of bad guys to be with him today. You know what I mean? Anyhow, lately, I've been feeling confused and not really sure if we'll even obtain our plans that we've both settled on. I guess it bothers me that he and I have decided that we do want to get married and I'm going to move to where he is located when we save up the money. I also am four months pregnant with our child. Both of our third child. He has two and I have two. Anyhow, he and I have had problems in the past but nothing that isn't big. Mostly small stuff.

The second part of this story is that there is a third person, whom i met a while back, after I met him, maybe four to six months ago, who is a christian woman and tells me that he is not good enough for me because I'm going to school to get my bachelor's degree and he hasn't even gotten a high school diploma. But also she says that he is "the enemy," and that I need to drop him. She came over recently and he was here, helping me with laundry and stuff like that. "He goes back from his home town to where I live." He is on a limited income, but doesn't have any real responsibilities so to speak. Bills and ettcetra. He also has a real bad eye problem very low vision, almost to the point where he is blind, which is why he has a hard time sustaining employment. Stuff like that. Anyhow, she told me after he left, that she didn't want to come here because he made her feel uncomfortable the last time she was here, yet she came the day after and then she came over again today. Today I wasn't at home, but she came and stayed an hour and although he'd texted my phone, I didn't answer till an hour later, because the silencer was on. Anyhow, I told him to ask her to leave and come back another day because it pissed me off that she would tell me she didn't like him and didn't think he should be around my kids but yet she would be around him for a whole hour? I don't understand that logic. She basically came over to use the computer. She always tell me what I need to do with my kids, my life and says that if I were a real "christian." I would not have him there. I was a christian, but now I'm not so sure I want to take the same path everyone else takes. It doesn't sound too great, being judgemental and I like sex. That's the biggest issue. I like sex. I love being with him. Not just intimate wise, but he helps me out when I need it. If I need groceries and don't have the money, he gives it to me. If I need help cleaning the house, he and I both does it together. If I need anything, he's proven to me that he is there to help. His attitude still have not changed. He's a great guy, helpful, kind and warmhearted toward me and the kids. The only thing that makes me angry is that other people see him as unworthy and I don't understand why when at heart, we are both compatible with one another.

We even have long conversations and everything else that couples do. Go out on dates and everything. He also treats the kids good. He was not even rude to her when she came over that day she told me she felt uncomfortable. He asked her what she thought about him because I had told him what she thought and he said he wanted to confront her about it. She got mad because I wasn't in the house when he did. I was putting clothes in the washer when he told me that he was going to do it and as soon as I went inside, she told me they'd been talking and he'd given her some information about his family background and stuff like that. She didn't sound upset. She waited till I had gone off to chase after my daughter and come follow me to tell me what she thought. I couldn't understand how she could think this and then in one instance say so non chalantly that he was telling her about his family roots. He also told me when we went to put the clothes in the washer, that he thought she understood him a little better and wouldn't see him as an enemy knowing a little about him. I told him just because someone seems like they're being nice and friendly doesn't mean they are. Since she's been coming over here, I've been feeling really uncomfortable with her around and I don't know what to do about it. Advice, anyone?