Negative spouse

by Me

I have never told anyone these things before and I have tried to talk to my husband, but he just doesn't want to hear them. So, I have been married to my husband for 7 years almost 8.

I don't understand why he is so negative and angry all the time about everything and I do mean everything. It takes alot for me to get angry or stressed or whatever. I just think that we are blessed with too many things to be so angry like that all the time. I just wish that he would calm down and enjoy life.

The smallest things set him off. I try to ask him what is bothering him and he tells me to leave him alone.
We don't have much to say to each other anymore meaning normal conversation. Sometimes I feel so alone even though he is there.

He lashes out at me all the time. He starts hollaring and swearing at me, might call me a few names. Most of
the time it is because I don't have the same opinion as him or because I don't get mad at the things that he gets mad at. He always tells me it is because he is tired and he don't want to talk about it.

I tell him when he hurts my feelings and he gets even more mad. Which that I don't understand. Anyways when I tell him that he has hurt my feeling he tells me "Well I'm sorry that you got your feelings hurt, but I didn't do anything." Then he says "You know what just leave me alone and you won't have to worry about you getting your feelings hurt." I mean seriously how can you be so cruel and not care.

I try to understand where all the anger is coming from, but I honestly don't know. I just feel so tired of it. I do everything chores, bills, yard work, shopping he does not have to lift a finger. I am to the point where when we are together I just feel numb. I try to talk to to him and tell him how negative and mean he can be to me, but he tells me that I am pissing him off and he don't want to hear about it.

When I do try to talk to him I don't get loud and hollar or any of that other nonsense because I don't see the point in it. Don't get me wrong I love my husband to death, but enough is enough. The thing that upsets me the most is that when we are around other people like his family or his coworkers he is the best person to be around. He will help anyone who needs it. He does have a good heart and can be a really good person.

He does not treat his family or friends the way he acts with me. It is like I am seeing 2 different people. I have to constantly tell him the positive sides to everything. I am constantly trying not to let his negativity or lashing out bring me down, but sometimes I struggle with that. I am not able to talk to him about alot of things because I know his reaction will not be good so I just prefer not to tell him.

I hate that it has to be that way. I want to be able to go to him when I need someone to talk to, when I need a pick me up, when I need some encouragement, when I am feeling down and I need some comfort. I spend so much time trying to get everything done and trying to keep him out of a funk that it is just sucking the life out of me. At times I feel like it is too much.

If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them!!!

Comments for Negative spouse

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 22, 2012
STOMS ARE LESSON
by: Joseph

Very challenging state to anyone who is in a such situation. However, whetever you pass thruogh is a lesson to you. You have to know the fomula in order to simplify the fraction. Before you try to do anything to make him happy, sit-down first study his life comparing to yours to see in which you can fit and in which you cannot, and work on those negetive. The massive changes take time, so be ready to pay the cost-pacience, determination and etc.

Jul 11, 2013
negative spouse
by: Anonymous

I am in a similar situation but mine is, his extended family poisoned his mind by putting negative thoughts in his mind about me(not that they know me or made the time to get to know me)
I have no contact with them but still are persuasive over his life. he is 52yrs. they are totally abusive and he does whatever they ask(money, visits and calls without me knowing)

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Negative People Discussion.