by Mana

I have a narcissist person in my life and that is my mom (described in the article about narcissists called "Always My Fault, Always To Blame"). She is a very negative person and the person behind my low confidence.

Since my childhood, she began to get angry in front of everyone, that was shameful for me. And slowly slowly this turned out on my mind and anything I do she started finding faults. Like if I don't know something in a subject she says, "Oh! you are in a big class now, and you don't know this thing, very bad." She says in this manner that I slowly slowly start thinking is this right whatever i am doing and this leads to my most embarrassing problem that is my shaking hands. She too even says in front of everyone why your hands are shaking and my problem of shaking hands started stronger.

I have one more sister and one more brother. She always point out my weakness in front of everyone. She attacked me yesterday also. My brother wants to have fresh lime soda and he asked me to make it for him. Now I don't know how much lime should be put into that. I put it little less. He tastes it and said you put it less and I said, "I didn't know the amount of lime to put into it", and my mom says,"Yes! she didn't know".

Again negative thoughts arouse in me for sometime and I think positive thoughts. I was successful in this to overcome my negative thoughts but I think my inner side was not satisfied yet. These type of little little thing become bigger for me and I now find that I am useless and can't do anything right.

For quite a few days now, I have started meditating and converting my negative thoughts with my positive ones.

But I need help what should I do in these kind of situations where my mother attacked again and again my thoughts?

Let me tell you just a little bit more about her. She has very good image in her society. My father lives abroad and me, my brother and mom live in India. My sister is married. She brought us alone, like living alone in India with us. Now she thought she had made many sacrifices for us. Yes she made. But where is my father? Nowhere. She counts him nowhere. She loves my brother very much more than us sisters. Tell me what to do. I used your method, when she says some frustrating thing, I ask myself, "Why is this lady is unhappy?
Please send some positive thinking from me. Anyways that doesn't effect me". But I still want to know more.

Comments for Narcissist

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Nov 07, 2008
by: Catherine,

Hi Mana,

Thanks for telling your story. Your mom is displaying a lot of the traits of a narcissist. A narcissist will often treat one child differently than the others, will make you feel like nothing you ever do is right, and also make you feel like you need to always be on the defensive because you never know when you're going to be attacked. They often pick out the sensitive person as well which may be why she's chosen you to blame and criticize. They're also usually highly regarded within society and others don't see why you have problems getting along with them.

One of the most important things you'll need to learn is emotional detaching from your mom. You hear the words she says yet you don't let them hurt you. There's a number of ways you can do this which I describe in my book on Blamers and I'll also send you a private email. But, you learn to almost have a shield around you whenever you deal with this one particular person.

For your shaking hands, I'll answer that in your other post, Shaking Hands.

Good for you with the meditating. That will help you to be centered within yourself. It may also help you to simply let her words go and not let them affect you.

The narcissist sees the world in a much different way than you do. It's their view of the world though, not yours.

You'll find that as you learn some simple tips to deal with the narcissist that it will make it a lot easier. It really does help once you understand what type of personality you're dealing with and you learn that it's not you, it's the relationship that's wrong. Then, you can focus on building up your self esteem again.

Watch your an email from me and I'll give you some tips to deal with your mom.


Nov 20, 2009
I'm in the same situation
by: Anonymous


I'm sorry for all what you went through. I'm Indian too, and it has been hard for other Indians to understand my mom. They say she's being a "typical Indian mom", but she's a true narcissist! She also has a great image in society and thinks that she's the best mom, when she could get put in jail or filed for abuse for some of the things she did.

I hope you recover and wish you well.

May 19, 2011
Hi dear...
by: Anonymous

I also suffer with similar kind of problems...I hope that God will relieve us from all these problems very soon...

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