Molestation, Shame, Acceptance, Comfort, Life

by A
(Seattle, WA US)

I was molested by cousins in my childhood. I have always experienced extreme shame when dealing with my immediate family and relatives. Some family members knew and some didn't. My brother knew but would threaten to tell other family members and my friends if I didn't do what he asked (not sexual, mostly menial tasts, brotherly things). I have a hard time being myself around family. I have always been the strange one, the off-one that does her own thing, the wanderer. I hide everything from them, even basic information I tend to tweak. I don't want them to know me. The shame follows me, I am twenty-six now! It's so heavy, does anyone feel this way around their families? Especially around their relatives, events, reunions, birthdays, holidays? It is more intense during these gatherings than anywhere else.

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Sep 14, 2012
You Are Not Alone
by: Anonymous

Dear, Sweet, A,
Many people feel the same way you do, without even having suffered through the experiences you have via your cousins/subsequent hiding, shame, etc.

There is and never was ANY reason for you to feel ashamed, your cousins who did the things they did also never had a reason to feel ashamed, because they probably had it done to them (and up through the generations). If not, there were other, non factors that created their distorted view of why they thought it was "okay"..
You are the one to stopping the chain, so to speak, you should be proud that you did not grow to do it, but are ending it.

You now have the "detector" inside you to see children/people who need help as you did, and you can help them! Everyone can help each other!

Please, no matter what, keep getting up from the low feelings as soon as you can. Keep being the beautiful person you are. Keep coming to this site... and others like it.

Peace, Love, and Confidence, Melyssa

P.S.- Hopefully my site will be helping people progress for free soon, too. For now, I am creating stability in my life by offering healing sessions and cosmetology services@: sheseverywhere.com

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