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Lots to deal with

by Darlene

I am dealing with a husband and his 16 year old daughter who are narcisstic. They both blame me for everything!! My step-daughter has hated me since my husband and I first met and has caused problems between us (also her mom and her boyfriend) and does not see her dad anymore bc of it. There is a lot more than the narcissism going on with both of them--or maybe it is the narcissism at work. The longer I am with my husband--we have been together for almost 4 years-married for almost 1 year--the more things I see and "catch on" to. He manipulates everyone and will do whatever it takes to get his way with everyone. It is sick to watch him work his "magic" with people. I am a big believer of trust and honesty and I get none of this with him. He hides things from me and lies out the a** to me and tells me I don't know what I am ever talking about when he has been "caught". He sneaks around to see and call his daughter even and then lies about it. He erases all his phone calls from his phone--he made sure to get a business phone so I can't keep track of his calls bc I was checking them bc he would lie to me about it when I asked him. His daughter has lied about me to everyone and spread rumors about me and my husband believes her and everyone else's lis. I am put at the bottom of his list of priorities---actually I don't think I am even on the list at all--until he wants sex!! His family all hate me bc they don't know the "real" him and they have no idea the truth. All they see and hear is his fun-loving great side--which only comes out for them and certain people. It was there when we first met but quickly vanished. I have been doing sooo much to work on myself and to change and he refuses and says he doesn't need to change and won't change....
My 5 kids have been "bullied" by him and lied about from his daughter -- she has blamed them for everything, especially my oldest daughter. There is sooo much more but..... It is sooo unreal it is hard for me to wrap my brain around it. To think these people actually don't have a conscience and treat people this way and have no remorse. Where's the empathy?

Comments for
Lots to deal with

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Jul 08, 2010
Follow the video link.....
by: John

Lots..... I want you to know that I am an outgoing, laughing, confident, self employed adult who loved life fully and couldn't find a single situatuion to pull positive out of.

I left a stagnant marriage and then.....I was reeled in by a narcissistic, psychopath blamer who I am still fighting to come to terms with for a final goodbye.

I noticed changes in me. Laughter was gone. Openess gave way to being closed. I was isolated from my friends and family. I did and continue to do nothing for myself. The most blatant situations were my fault. In fact, my wife to be had such a tantrum the day prior to our wedding that we ended up missing the time window to apply for our licence. Mind you that months later the story shaped and shifted to define me as the abuser and her the ultimate victim.

I have noticed the pattern that there is no responsibility for this personalilty. In fact, it blows right by lack of responsibility to pure self victimization.

In the past 8 weeks I have seen a therapist. Initially I went on the grounds that I was broken and the only way for our relationship to succeed was to seek help and straighten out. Come to find out..... I was indeed broken and I realize that the only straightening that needs to be had is the end of this relationship.

I have poured my heart, soul and money (I mention $ because I have dumped an obscene amount into her "sit back and take" lifestyle and abandoned my financial responsibilities). I am getting back on my feet. I am resilient and I will break free from this.

I watched the clip, posted by a link under the "Blamer" page to the self professed psychopath. I watched in awe and horror. It was as if my S.O. was encapuslated in another body. The coldness, the sudden angry attack upon confrontation of their stories/lies, the character attacks.

I have not said goodbye, not yet. But I can feel myself healing. I can feel the relief building. I have opened my eyes to those that care around me and realized again what I have always known, life is to short for their bullshit!

Best of luck and remember, we all sail our own ships and as long as we are on the right side of the dirt, we DO have the ability to do something about it.

Feb 23, 2009
Your living my life
by: Anonymous

Finally, someone who understands. I read your post and can't believe how closely it resembles my life.

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