Anger/ frustration

by Jules
(Canada)

(not going to bore you with every details, but here's a bit of what's bothering me)

My father and I have never really bonded. Ever since I was a child, he was always working. He never had the time to spend time with me or go to any parents meeting for school. My aunt was always the one who would come to those meetings and support me, so that I wouldn't feel odd being the only person with no parents attending. My mother had past away for 12 years and my father never seemed to move on. He's always controlling me, telling me what to do and never listens to what I, or anyone have to say. So as time goes by, I never really had a conversation with my father. When we head out for dinner (I was 18 at the time and still lived with my father) and bump into people he knew, he would always say that life is difficult when you have to take care of three kids. What really ticks me off is that, not only does he rarely support me in my life ( financially, emotionally ,etc..) but the fact that he rambles on to others about how great of a father he is. (he puts all his effort and time in supporting my older sister and his work. But he would always say to me that he's fair to all his kids and that he has supported me since I was born). I moved out this year, so I could head to college and away from him. My way of financing education is through the government and my own hard work. But guess what he's been saying to everyone else and to me? .. "I have put my daughter through college."

... Answer is: so not true.

I even told him to go see a counsellor or professional help, but he keeps denying and refuse to listen to any advice.I want to move on with my life but I feel that I can't because if I keep rejecting his calls, he would call my friends. And it's really humiliating. I want to grow up but this part of me is keeping me strapped somehow.